150 Best Kissing Jokes and Puns That Will Make You Pucker Up Laughing

Ready to pucker up for some serious laughs? We’re diving headfirst into the hilarious world of kissing jokes and puns! Get ready to have your funny bone tickled with some lip-smacking humor.

Whether you’re looking to break the ice or just want a good chuckle, these jokes are guaranteed to get a reaction.

So, get ready to plant one on your screen and explore our collection of the best kissing jokes and puns that are sure to leave you smiling!

Best Kissing Jokes and Puns That Will Make You Pucker Up Laughing

• What do you call a stolen kiss? A smOOch and grab!
• I tried to explain the complexities of kissing to my dog. He just tilted his head; I guess he’s not ready for advanced pet-ting.
• Why did the vampire break up with the bat? Their relationship was going nowhere; it was all just necks, necks, necks!
• My girlfriend said I wasn’t romantic enough during our kiss. I told her I was just trying to avoid dental lockjaw!
• Two lips met; it was a mutual attraction. They decided to tongue-gle later.
• I’m writing a book about kissing. It’s my first novel. It’s sure to be a real page-turner.
• Why did the frog call the kissing booth? He wanted to see if he could get some tongue action!
• Parallel lines have so much in common. It’s a shame they’ll never meet…or kiss.
• **Image:** A picture of a fish blowing bubbles. **Caption:** “My attempt at an underwater kiss.”
• I asked my date if she believed in love at first sight, or should I walk by again? She said, “Maybe try puckering up first!”
• What did the lips say to the cheek? “Get ready for some pressure!”
• Why was the mathematical kiss so confusing? Because it involved so many complex tangents.
• My dating profile says I’m looking for someone to share long walks on the beach and stolen kisses. Mostly the stolen kisses, tbh.
• I accidentally kissed my cat. Now I’m worried about getting hairballs and saying meow-velous things.
• **Meme:** Drakeposting meme. Drake looking displeased at “Awkwardly leaning in for a hug.” Drake approvingly looking at “Confidently going in for the kiss.”

The Ultimate Collection of Hilarious Kissing Jokes: Get Ready to Pucker Up!

Looking for a laugh that’ll leave you breathless? “The Ultimate Collection of Hilarious Kissing Jokes” is your one-stop shop for puckering puns and smooch-worthy zingers. From awkward first kisses to seasoned smoochers, this collection covers all the hilarious bases. Get ready to share these groan-worthy jokes and spread the love…

• My dating app profile says I’m looking for a kissing partner, but really I just want to master the art of the French inhale.
• What do you call a stolen kiss? A smOOch and grab!
• My therapist suggested I try to find closure by writing a letter to my ex, sealing it with a kiss, and then mailing it to the North Pole. I think she’s trying to tell me something.
• If you were a parking ticket, I’d frame you and kiss you every day.
• Are you from Tennessee? Because you’re the only ten I see.
• Seeking someone who appreciates the finer things in life: like long walks on the beach and stealing kisses under the moonlight. Must be okay with my crippling fear of seagulls.
• Date brought a ladder to the bar: He heard the drinks were on the house, and he needed a way to break the ice.
• I would say “God bless you” if you sneezed, but I’m pretty sure you’re already blessed, because you have me.
• My love for you is like pi: never-ending and completely irrational.
• I’m not usually this forward, but I’d be incomplete without you…and a side of fries.
• Why did the two lips get sent to their room? They were getting a little too mouthy.
• If you were a text message, I’d read you immediately, reply thoughtfully, and then meticulously craft a follow-up to ensure I don’t come off as too eager… then accidentally send a thumbs-up emoji.
• Dating app bio: Seeking someone who can make me laugh and also knows the Heimlich maneuver. I’m a messy eater… and a terrible kisser.
• Relationship status: Expert at awkwardly sipping my drink while two people make googly eyes at each other.
• My dating profile says I’m looking for someone who’s not afraid of commitment: Must be able to handle my constant need for validation and my crippling fear of intimacy.

Kissing Puns for Every Occasion: From Dates to Anniversaries!

Looking for the perfect pun to seal the deal? “Kissing Puns for Every Occasion” is your go-to guide! From first dates to golden anniversaries, we’ve got a smooch-worthy selection of jokes that’ll leave them puckering up with laughter. Get ready to plant a big one on their funny bone!

• I’m not saying I’m a bad kisser, but my ex said it felt like being attacked by a hummingbird.
• Why did the lips get sent to their room: For being too mouthy.
• Is your name Chapstick: Because I want to put you on my lips.
• Knock knock. Who’s there? Ida. Ida who? Ida known you were such a good kisser, I would have said yes sooner.
• I just got a job as a professional lip reader: The pay isn’t great, but I’m making ends meet.
• My kissing style is like a snowflake: Unique, beautiful, and completely unpredictable.
• What did the lips say to the cheek? “Get ready for some pressure!”
• I’m not saying I’m a bad kisser, but my date said it felt like she was being attacked by a vacuum cleaner.
• If you were a vegetable, you’d be a ‘cute-cumber’… and I’d kiss you any chance I got.
• Relationship status: Seeking someone who appreciates my kissing skills. Warning: May spontaneously start making kissing sounds when nervous.
• Why did the two lips get sent to their room? They were getting a little too touchy-feely.
• Image Macro: A picture of two magnets trying to connect, but repelling each other. Caption: “My dating life: Always so close, yet so far.”
• I tried to write a song about kissing, but it was too cheesy… and I couldn’t find a good rhyme.
• You’re like a well-written function: elegant, efficient, and I can’t stop calling you….for kisses.
• I’m not sure what’s tighter, my budget or my kissing skills.

Clean Kissing Jokes: Family-Friendly Fun for All Ages!

Looking for a giggle that’s safe for everyone? “Clean Kissing Jokes: Family-Friendly Fun for All Ages!” is your answer! This collection delivers silly puns and lighthearted jokes about kisses, perfect for sharing with kids, grandparents, or anyone who appreciates wholesome humor. Get ready for some laughs without any awkward moments!

• My kissing skills are so good, I should start a lip-syncing career… without music.
• What do you call a vampire who’s a bad kisser: A pain in the neck.
• I tried to teach my dog how to kiss, but all I got was a slobbery mess and a newfound appreciation for lip balm.
• Dating me is like a box of chocolates: You never know what you’re gonna get…unless it’s a kiss!
• My kissing style is like a caffeinated beverage, it’ll leave you buzzed.
• Are you a charging cable? Because I’m ready to connect with you, and give you a little kiss!
• I tried to write a song about kissing, but I couldn’t find a good rhyme.
• What do you call a kiss that happens during a solar eclipse: A total eclipse of the heart…and lips.
• I’m not a photographer, but I can picture us together… in a kissing booth.
• What did the lips say to the cheek? “Get ready for some pressure!”
• Image Macro: A picture of two magnets trying to connect, but repelling each other. Caption: “Me trying to kiss someone for the first time.”
• Why did the lips get sent to their room? For being too mouthy.
• I think I’m losing my eyesight, because I can’t see myself without you
• What’s a honeymooner’s favorite type of math? Alge-bride.
• Are you a fruit? Because honeydew you know how good you look right now?

Romantic Kissing Jokes: Adding a Spark to Your Relationship with Humor!

Spice up your love life with some playful puckering! “Romantic Kissing Jokes” explores how humor can deepen intimacy and connection. Discover witty one-liners, lighthearted puns, and silly scenarios that’ll have you and your partner laughing (and maybe kissing!) more often. It’s all about adding a spark of joy to your…

• My kissing style is like a snowflake: Each one is unique, beautiful, and completely awkward.
• If you were a door, I’d find another way to kiss you.
• I tried to kiss my date goodnight, but my braces got stuck in their beard. It was a real metal-mouth moment.
• What’s a vampire’s favorite thing to do? Kiss neck-tar.
• Image Macro: Two lips with googly eyes captioned: “Ready for some action!”
• They say that kissing is a language of love, so I’m practicing on my hand.
• If kisses were snowflakes, I’d send you a blizzard.
• I sent my crush a text that said, “I like you”. Autocorrect changed it to “I lick you.”
• I’m not saying I’m a bad kisser, but my date said it felt like they were being attacked by a hummingbird.
• Image Macro: A picture of two magnets trying to connect, but repelling each other, captioned: “Me trying to kiss someone taller than me.”
• I’m selling my kissing booth, said it was a real success.
• My kissing style is like a caffeinated beverage: It’ll leave you buzzed.
• What did the lips say to the cheek? “Get ready for some pressure!”
• If I kissed you and you didn’t like it, please let me know so I can do it again.
• I tried to be smooth and give a wink to my date, but I blinked really slowly and just gave her a stroke.

Bad Kissing Jokes: So Bad, They’re Good!

Ready for some puckeringly awful humor? “Bad Kissing Jokes: So Bad, They’re Good!” explores the delightfully groan-worthy side of kissing puns. We’re talking jokes so cheesy they’ll make your teeth hurt, but so bad they’re genuinely funny. Prepare for some lip-smacking laughs and maybe, just maybe, a few embarrassed smiles….

• Why did the lips get sent to their room: For being too mouthy in public.
• I’m not saying I’m a bad kisser, but my date said it felt like they were being attacked by a hummingbird.
• You’re so sweet, you’re giving me a toothache… almost as painful as that last kiss.
• Relationship status: Seeking someone who appreciates my kissing skills. Warning: May spontaneously start making kissing noises when nervous.
• What do you call a kiss during the pandemic: A mask-erpiece.
• My kissing style is like a snowflake: Each one is unique, beautiful, and completely awkward.
• I’m looking for a partner who wants a kiss, but I’m not sure if I can tongue-gle to get it.
• I tried to tell a joke about bad kissing. But it puckered.
• I’m not saying I’m a bad kisser, but I just got a restraining order from the mannequin at the department store.
• Why was the kiss so bad? It was re-lips-ive.
• My girlfriend said I wasn’t romantic enough during our kiss. I told her I was just trying to avoid dental lockjaw!
• What did the lips say to the cheek? Get ready for some pressure!
• I tried to kiss my date goodnight, but my braces got stuck in their beard. It was a real metal-mouth moment.
• If I kissed you and you didn’t like it, please let me know so I can do it again.
• Image Macro: A picture of two lips with googly eyes and a speech bubble saying: “Ready for some action!”

Kissing Jokes and Pick-Up Lines: Breaking the Ice with a Smile!

Want to break the ice and maybe even steal a kiss? “Kissing Jokes and Puns” is your playful guide! Packed with cheesy pick-up lines and giggle-inducing jokes, it’s the perfect way to lighten the mood and show off your humor. Just remember, confidence and a genuine smile are the best…

• If kisses were snowflakes, I’d send you a blizzard… and hope you don’t get frostbite.
• I wish I were your toothbrush, so I could meet your lips every morning.
• Image Macro: A picture of two electrical plugs kissing, captioned: “Finding the right connection”.
• My kissing style is like a jazz solo: Improvisational, a little bit chaotic, and hopefully memorable.
• Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I kiss you again?
• I’m not a photographer, but I can picture us kissing, and then awkwardly posing for a photo booth.
• If you were a song, you’d be the chorus, because I’m always coming back for more.
• My dating app bio: Seeking someone who enjoys long walks on the beach and stealing kisses under the moonlight. Must be okay with spontaneous serenades.
• I want our relationship to be like this red lipstick: bold, unforgettable, and all over your face.
• If you were a parking ticket, I’d display you on my dashboard with pride.
• Are you a magnet? Because you’re a-tract-ing me.
• Just got a new lip balm. Now accepting kissing applicants.
• I’m not sure what’s tighter, my wedding budget or my kissing skills.
• Why did the newly married ghosts choose a haunted hotel for their honeymoon: They wanted a boo-tiful start to their life together!
• Relationship status: Currently practicing kissing techniques on a grapefruit. Results are… citrusy.

International Kissing Jokes: A Global Celebration of Smooches!

Craving a kiss of humor? “International Kissing Jokes: A Global Celebration of Smooches!” explores the hilarious side of lip-locking across cultures. From cheeky French pecks to awkward first kisses in Japan, this collection delivers laughs in every language. Discover how different cultures view and joke about this universal act of…

• I tried to kiss a Muppet, but it turned out to be a felt-ony.
• What do you call a kissing fish? SmOOches!
• My kissing technique is like a QR code: scan it, and you’ll be transported to another dimension.
• I went to a kissing competition, but I didn’t win. I guess I’m just not a very good pucker-upper.
• Why did the telephone stop kissing? It was tired of getting a busy signal.
• I told my date I was an expert kisser. She said, “Prove it.” Now I’m wanted for indecent exposure.
• My new dating app matches you based on kissing style, but all the profiles are just pictures of lips.
• “I’m not sure what my kissing style is, but I’m pretty sure it involves a lot of awkward angles and accidental nose bumps.”
• Image Macro: Two lips wearing construction hats, captioned “Under construction: perfecting my kissing technique.”
• Did you hear about the couple who broke up after their first kiss? It was a real lip-service disaster.
• “I’m not saying I’m a bad kisser, but my dates usually ask for a breath mint… and a therapist.”
• What do you call a ghost who’s great at kissing: A soul-mate!
• My kissing is like a choose-your-own-adventure novel, but all the endings are the same: awkward silence and a hasty goodbye.
• Are you a charging cable? Because I’m ready to connect with you, and give you a little kiss!
• “Just invented a new kissing technique! It’s called ‘The Selfie Kiss’. You kiss the phone screen and pretend it’s your crush. Results may vary.”

Kissing Gone Wrong Jokes: When a Kiss is a Miss!

Ever puckered up for a smooch that landed…well, somewhere else? Kissing jokes and puns are a hilarious exploration of those awkward, unexpected, and downright disastrous lip-locks. From mistimed pecks to face-plant fails, these jokes remind us that even the simplest act can go hilariously wrong. So pucker up for some…

• My kissing style is like a surprise party: you’re expecting something sweet, but it ends with a lot of awkward screaming.
• Tried to kiss my date, but my face mask got in the way. Talk about a blocked connection.
• I accidentally kissed my dog on the lips. Now I’m wondering if I should ask him out again.
• My kissing technique is like abstract art: some people get it, most don’t, and everyone pretends to understand.
• I tried to make a move, but my date flinched so hard, they nearly concussed me.
• Just had a kissing lesson with my cat. Turns out, sandpaper tongues are a no-go.
• My date said my kisses were like a dentist’s appointment: thorough, but not exactly enjoyable.
• Tried to kiss my date, but I sneezed mid-pout. Talk about a face full of regret.
• Image Macro: A picture of two turtles trying to kiss, but their shells are in the way. Caption: “My dating life.”
• My date said my kisses were like a rollercoaster: a lot of build-up, a brief thrill, and then a sudden drop.
• I tried to kiss my date, but I kept calling them by my ex’s name. It was a real lip service disaster.
• Just had a kissing lesson with my dog. Turns out, sandpaper tongues are a no-go.
• My kissing style is like a caffeinated beverage: It’ll leave you buzzed.
• I tried to make a move, but my date flinched so hard, they nearly concussed me.
• Just had a kissing lesson with my grandma. Turns out, dentures are a no-go.