150 Best Houston Texans Jokes and Memes Guaranteed to Sack Your Boredom

Ready to unleash your inner Texans fan and share a laugh? Whether you’re celebrating a win or coping with a tough loss, sometimes all you need is a good chuckle.

Dive into our collection of hilarious Houston Texans jokes and memes that’ll have you saying “Yee-haw!” From witty jabs about rival teams to lighthearted digs at our own squad, we’ve got the perfect comedic relief.

Get ready to scroll through the funniest takes on Texans football! Prepare for meme magic and joke gold as we explore the lighter side of cheering for H-Town’s team.

Best Houston Texans Jokes and Memes Guaranteed to Sack Your Boredom

• Why did the Houston Texan bring a ladder to the game? He heard they needed to improve their pass completion rates!
• Heard the Texans are changing their team colors to camouflage. Apparently, they’re tired of being seen in the playoffs.
• Breaking News: The Houston Texans have signed a new kicker. His name is “Hope.” Experts say he’s their only one.
• What do you call a Houston Texans player with a Super Bowl ring? A liar.
• My therapist told me to embrace my fears. So, I became a Houston Texans fan.
• A Houston Texans fan walks into a library and asks for books about paranoia. The librarian whispers, “They’re right behind you!”
• Why did the Houston Texan get a parking ticket at the stadium? Because he couldn’t find the end zone.
• What’s the difference between the Houston Texans and a dollar? You can still get four quarters out of a dollar.
• I told my wife I was giving up the Houston Texans. She asked, “Since when did you have the Houston Texans?”
• Texans fan starter pack: A sad face, a prayer candle, and unwavering (yet questionable) optimism.
• Rumor has it, the Texans’ new offensive strategy is to confuse the other team into submission. It might actually work.
• Why did the Houston Texans cross the road? To prove they could get to the other side… eventually… maybe.
• “Knock, knock.”
• “Who’s there?”
• “Texans.”

Texans’ Fumbles and Foibles: Houston Texans Jokes

Texans fans, we feel your pain! Sometimes, laughing is the best medicine, especially after a rough game. “Texans’ Fumbles and Foibles” celebrates those moments, the, shall we say, *unique* plays that only Houston could produce. From questionable calls to head-scratching decisions, it’s all fodder for good-natured ribbing and bonding over…

• The Texans’ new stadium security measure: a sign that reads “You must be this tall to ride the playoff train… which doesn’t exist.”
• What do you call a Texans’ quarterback with a PhD?: Overqualified for handing off the ball.
• Image: A tumbleweed rolling through NRG stadium. Caption: “Texans’ offensive strategy.”
• Heard the Texans hired a new chef? He specializes in serving humble pie.
• Why did the Texan bring a ladder to the game?: He wanted to see if their playoff hopes had been placed on a higher shelf.
• What’s a Texan’s favorite kind of magic trick?: Making a lead disappear in the fourth quarter.
• Texans’ new team motto: “We may not win, but we’ll always have… hope for a better draft pick!”
• Image: A map of the NFL with a magnifying glass focused solely on the Texans, captioned: “Searching for a winning season.”
• What do you call a Texan who’s also a librarian?: A book-marker for last place.
• The Texans’ new training camp drill: Practicing how to look enthusiastic while losing.
• Why did the scarecrow become a Texans fan?: He was outstanding in his field, but used to getting stuffed.
• The Texans’ new stadium food: “The Almost There” burger. Tastes great, but you’re always hungry for more.
• What’s a Texan’s favorite type of music?: The Blues…obviously.
• The Texans’ new offensive play is called “The Hopeful Hail Mary…Again.”
• Why did the football get a therapist after playing the Texans?: It was tired of getting Houston-ed.

Houston Texans Memes: Reliving the Disappointment

Houston Texans memes? Buckle up for a rollercoaster of disappointment! From quarterback woes to questionable coaching decisions, Texans fans have channeled their pain into hilarious (and often self-deprecating) internet gold. Think Deshaun Watson memes gone wrong, endless draft pick jokes, and a healthy dose of “same old Texans” cynicism. It’s…

• The Texans’ new stadium food: “The Almost Made It” nachos – they look great until you realize the cheese is cold.
• What do you call a Texans fan with a positive attitude?: An optimist, but also probably delusional.
• Texans’ new team-building exercise: Competitive crying.
• The Texans’ playbook is written in ancient Sumerian: because nobody understands it.
• I’m convinced the Texans are powered by participation trophies.
• The Texans’ new pre-game ritual: sacrificing a goat to the football gods.
• What’s a Texans fan’s favorite weather forecast?: Mostly cloudy with a high chance of draft picks.
• The Texans are so bad, they make the other teams play worse.
• What do you call a Texans fan who’s also a detective?: Someone who is good at finding all the problems.
• The Texans’ new stadium feature: a giant screen that displays the current draft order.
• I tried to write a joke about the Texans, but it was flagged for holding.
• The Texans’ new offensive play is called “The Distraction”: where they distract the other team long enough to get a penalty.
• The Texans’ quarterback’s arm is so weak, he needs a catapult to get the ball to the wide receiver.
• Why did the Texans’ football get a therapist?: It had too many issues.
• The Texans’ new team motto: “We may not win, but we’ll always have…next year!”

Hardy Har Har: The Funniest Houston Texans Jokes

Looking for a good laugh at the Texans’ expense? “Hardy Har Har: The Funniest Houston Texans Jokes” dives deep into the rib-tickling world of Houston football humor! From playful jabs at past seasons to lighthearted takes on current players, this collection promises to be a hilarious addition to your arsenal…

• The Texans’ new stadium tour includes a designated “Sighing Zone” for disappointed fans.
• I tried to watch a Texans game, but it was flagged for excessive holding… my attention.
• What do you call a Texans game with a lot of penalties?: A flag football game.
• The Texans’ new offensive strategy involves a complex series of hand signals, culminating in a shrug.
• Heard the Texans are changing their team song to “Everything is Teal-y Awesome”… ironically.
• Why did the Texan bring a ladder to the game?: He heard the team’s draft position was getting higher.
• Texans’ new team building exercise: Trust falls… into the arms of a better team.
• What’s a Texans fan’s favorite Shakespeare play?: “Much Ado About Nothing”… describes their season perfectly.
• Texans’ new stadium food: “The Disappointment Dog” – tastes okay, but you’re still hungry for a win.
• Heard the Texans are consulting a fortune teller: To find out when they’ll next win a game.
• Why did the Texans’ offensive coordinator bring a map to the game?: He was trying to find the end zone.
• The Texans’ new training drill: Competitive sighing.
• What’s a Texan’s favorite type of weather?: Slightly less disappointing than usual.
• The Texans’ new team motto: “We’re not tanking, we’re strategically…repositioning.”
• The Texans’ new team-building exercise: A scavenger hunt for a franchise quarterback.

Texans’ Tailgating Triumphs (and Tragedies): Meme-Worthy Moments

Texans tailgating: a glorious, meme-worthy spectacle! From BBQ brisket blunders to questionable gameday fashion choices, Houston fans bring the heat (and the humor). Whether it’s a triumphant cornhole victory or a tragic cooler malfunction, every pre-game parking lot party fuels the Texans meme machine. We celebrate the wins, laugh at…

• The Texans’ new stadium feature: A “Draft Pick Predictor” machine that’s more accurate than their offensive plays.
• What do you call a Texans fan who’s also a detective?: Someone who’s good at finding all the problems but not the solutions.
• The Texans’ new team-building exercise: A group therapy session on managing expectations.
• Heard the Texans are changing their team song to “Tears in Heaven”…because that’s where their playoff hopes reside.
• Image: A picture of a tumbleweed rolling through NRG Stadium, captioned: “Live footage of the Texans’ running game.”
• What’s a Texans fan’s favorite type of weather?: Partly cloudy with a high chance of disappointment.
• The Texans’ new offensive strategy: A complex series of hand signals that translate to “punt.”
• Why did the Texan bring a GPS to the game?: He heard the end zone was in another state.
• I’m convinced the Texans’ playbook is written in Wingdings: Nobody can decipher it, including the players.
• Texans fans are like printers: They always run out of ink (or hope) at the crucial moments.
• What’s the difference between the Texans and a dollar?: A dollar can still get you something of value.
• Image: A picture of a single teal-colored balloon floating away with the caption: “Texans’ playoff hopes.”
• The Texans’ new stadium food: “The Almost-a-Touchdown Taco”: Tastes great, but you’re still hungry for a win.
• Why did the Texan start a landscaping business?: Because they were already experts at being in the weeds.
• Texans’ new defensive strategy: Hoping the other team gets food poisoning before the game.

Deshaun Watson Era: Houston Texans Jokes We Can’t Forget

Remember when Deshaun Watson was supposed to be our savior? The “Deshaun Watson Era” birthed a whole new genre of Texans jokes, mostly about unrealized potential and what *could* have been. From trade memes to quarterback carousel gags, those jokes, while painful, are an unforgettable (and often hilarious) part of…

• Image: A photo of Deshaun Watson photoshopped onto a magician’s body, pulling a rabbit (wearing a Texans jersey) out of a hat. Caption: “Deshaun Watson: Making playoff appearances disappear since 2021.”
• What do you call a Texan who’s also a lawyer?: A dis-barred quarterback protector.
• I bet the Texans wish they could trade back for their old draft picks… at least then they could have something.
• Texans new team building exercise: A scavenger hunt for a competent GM.
• Did you hear about the Texans’ new offensive strategy? They’re planning to use a revolving door at quarterback… because why not?
• I’m convinced the Texans are powered by a perpetual cycle of disappointment and rebuilding.
• Why did the Texan bring a ladder to the unemployment office?: He heard his chances of finding a good team were getting higher.
• Image: A picture of a tumbleweed rolling through Houston with the caption: “The Texans’ Super Bowl hopes.”
• What’s a Texan fan’s favorite type of music?: Anything that drowns out the sound of reality.
• Image: Deshaun Watson holding a map with the caption: “Trying to find a team that will give me a fresh start.”
• The Texans’ new team motto: “We’re not tanking, we’re just…strategically improving our draft position…every year.”
• Texans’ new stadium feature: A giant screen displaying the current trade rumors.
• Why did the Texan start a law firm?: Because he heard defending himself was a good business decision.
• I tried to make a joke about the Texans’ front office, but it was too soon… and too easy.
• The Houston Texans: Where even the cheerleaders are asking to be traded.

O’Brien’s Blunders: Houston Texans Memes of Bad Decisions

Ah, O’Brien’s Blunders! A treasure trove within Houston Texans Jokes and Memes. We’re talking about the Bill O’Brien era, specifically his questionable trades and roster decisions. Remember DeAndre Hopkins? Yeah, Texans fans haven’t forgotten either. These “blunders” fuel endless meme content, a cathartic way to laugh (or cry) about a…

• The Texans’ new stadium attraction: A “Quarterback Carousel,” featuring every QB they’ve had since 2010. Ride at your own risk.
• Image: A Texans’ fan attempting to trade a signed jersey for a slightly used starting quarterback.
• What do you call a Texans fan who’s also a detective?: Someone who’s very good at finding new ways to be disappointed.
• The Texans’ new offensive strategy: A complex series of laterals that ends with the ball being punted… on the first down.
• Image: A Texans’ playbook with only one play drawn: “Pray.”
• The Texans’ new stadium food: “The Almost There” burger. It tastes great, but you’re always left wanting more…wins.
• Why did the Texan get a parking ticket at the stadium?: Because he couldn’t find the end zone.
• What do you call a Texan with a Super Bowl ring?: A visitor.
• The Texans’ new team motto: “We’re not tanking, we’re strategically…re-evaluating…every season.”
• Image: A map of the NFL with a giant question mark over Houston.
• What’s a Texan’s favorite type of music?: Anything that drowns out the sound of losing.
• The Texans’ new defensive strategy involves a complex series of hand signals, culminating in a shrug.
• Image: A hamster wheel labeled “Texans’ Offseason Plans.”
• Why did the football get a therapist after playing the Texans?: It was tired of getting Houston-ed.
• The Texans’ new team building exercise: A scavenger hunt for a competent GM.

David Carr Sacks: Houston Texans Jokes About the Early Years

David Carr Sacks, while a successful tech entrepreneur, will forever be linked to the Texans’ early struggles. Texans fans lovingly (and sometimes painfully) recall those expansion years, often through memes and jokes highlighting Carr’s relentless pressure and the team’s overall growing pains. It’s a shared experience, a comedic catharsis built…

• I heard the Texans tried to build a time machine: They just wanted to go back to when they had a first-round pick.
• What do you call a Houston Texans quarterback with a PhD?: Unemployed.
• I’m convinced the Texans’ new stadium food is a “Rebuild Burger”: You eat it, then it immediately falls apart.
• Why did the Texan bring a map to the ocean?: He heard his team was sinking.
• I heard the Texans are now selling “Almost Wins” at the stadium: They’re just participation trophies dipped in nacho cheese.
• What’s a Houston Texans fan’s favorite movie genre?: Tragedy.
• I saw a squirrel wearing a Texans jersey: Even nature is mocking them now.
• I tried to write a Texans joke, but my pen ran out of ink: Sums up their offense.
• What’s a Texan’s favorite board game?: Chutes and Ladders, but they only ever land on chutes.
• Why did the Texan bring a net to the game?: He heard the team was dropping passes.
• Image: A tumbleweed rolling across a football field, with the caption: “The Houston Texans’ playoff chances.”
• The Texans’ new stadium tour includes a “Wall of Almost” where they display their near-miss moments.
• What do you call a Texans’ team meeting?: A therapy session.
• I heard the Texans’ new training drill is “Competitive Tanking”: First one to the worst record wins.
• What’s the difference between a Houston Texan and a hockey puck?: At least a hockey puck gets to see the net.

Texans vs. the Titans: Rivalry Jokes and Memes

The Texans-Titans rivalry? Fuel for hilarious fire. Houston Texans jokes and memes often feature jabs at Tennessee, poking fun at their occasional struggles and perceived lack of swagger. Expect plenty of good-natured ribbing about quarterback matchups, questionable play calls, and, of course, the eternal battle for AFC South supremacy. It’s…

• A Texan and a Titan are fishing. The Texan catches a boot, a tire, and a rusty can. The Titan pulls out a gleaming Lombardi Trophy. The Texan sighs, “Guess some things just float to the top.”
• Heard the Texans and Titans are having a joint Thanksgiving dinner? The Texans are bringing the cranberry sauce (because it’s the only thing they can consistently deliver).
• What’s the difference between the Texans and a broken pencil?: A broken pencil can still have a point, unlike the Texans’ offense against the Titans.
• Texans’ new strategy against the Titans: Deploy a decoy team. The Titans will be so busy laughing, they’ll forget to score.
• A Texan and a Titan were arguing about who had the better state. The Texan said, “At least we have NASA!” The Titan replied, “Yeah, well, we’re closer to the moon… because your team never gets there.”
• Why did the Texan cross the Tennessee border?: To get a taste of victory… he was quickly disappointed.
• Image: A split Texans/Titans jersey, with the Titans side sparkling and the Texans side covered in tumbleweeds.
• What do you call a Texans fan at a Titans game?: Greatly outnumbered.
• The Texans and Titans are having a punting competition. It’s still going.
• Texans fans are now using the Titans’ two-toned blue as an emotional support color because they are blue from all the losses.
• Texans players and Titans players are playing hide and seek. No one is looking for the Texans.
• The Texans’ new team-building exercise against the Titans: A trust fall… into a pile of participation trophies.
• Why did the Texan bring a map to the Titans game?: He heard the road to victory was paved with good intentions… and holding penalties.
• Image: A horse trying to pull a truck labeled “Texans Offense” out of a ditch labeled “Titans Defense.”
• Texans’ new team motto: “Beat the Titans… eventually… maybe… probably not.”