150 Best Poop Jokes and Puns The Ultimate Collection That’s Number Two

Let’s face it, we all do it. And sometimes, we even laugh about it. Ready to dive headfirst into the world of potty humor?

Prepare yourself for a hilarious exploration of poop jokes and puns! From mildly amusing to downright stinky, we’re flushing out the best (and worst) toilet humor the internet has to offer.

Get ready to giggle, groan, and maybe even share a few of these gems with your friends. Just don’t blame us if you get a few raised eyebrows!

Best Poop Jokes and Puns The Ultimate Collection That’s Number Two

• I told my wife I was constipated. She said, “Sounds like you’re full of crap.” I said, “That’s the problem, it won’t come out!”
• Why did the toilet paper cross the road? To get to the bottom of things!
• What do you call a fake poop? A faux pas.
• I tried to write a song about constipation… but it just wouldn’t come out right.
• “I’m feeling regular today,” said no one, ever.
• My therapist told me to embrace my inner child. So, I threw a tantrum and clogged the toilet.
• I have a joke about diarrhea, but it’s probably going to run on a bit.
• Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field… of poop.
• I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down… unlike that last meal.
• Two pieces of poop are talking. One says, “Man, this is a real dump!”
• A magician was doing tricks with poop. It wasn’t very impressive; mostly just disappearing acts.
• I stayed up all night wondering where the sun went. Then it dawned on me… so did my bowels.
• My doctor said I need more fiber in my diet. I told him I’m already full of it.
• What’s the difference between a bad pun and diarrhea? Diarrhea at least you can’t hold in.
• I hate when I’m constipated and nothing’s coming out. It’s like my butt’s saying “Nope, not today!”

The Undeniable Allure of Poop Jokes and Puns: Why We Can’t Resist

Let’s face it, we all chuckle at a good poop joke. Why? Perhaps it’s the shared, universal experience, the taboo broken, or the sheer ridiculousness of it all. “Number two” humor taps into our inner child, reminding us that even the most serious among us can find something funny in…

• My therapist told me to embrace my inner plumber: I’m still trying to unclog my emotions, especially when it comes to the sewer.
• If you were a fart, you’d be a silent one: because you really took my breath away.
• I tried to explain the history of outhouses to my kids, but they just weren’t taking a crap about it.
• My dating app profile says I’m “looking for a meaningful connection,” but what I really mean is I need someone to hold my hair back while I’m throwing up gas station sushi.
• I tried to build a septic tank in Minecraft: It was a total block-out.
• Just started a new weight loss program: It’s working great, I’m losing pounds of weight, but gaining a pound of shame.
• My life is like a gas station toilet paper roll: Thin, disappointing, and you only use it when you’re desperate.
• I tried to make a joke about a bad public restroom, but it was too graphic.
• Why did the public restroom get a bad grade? It was always full of C’s…and a few other letters too.
• I got a fortune cookie that said, “You will soon be visited by a wise man.” Pretty sure it was just my plumber.
• Image Macro: An outhouse with a “Reserved” sign, captioned: “My happy place when I’m camping.”
• My girlfriend asked me what I was doing on the computer, I told her I was trying to find a good plumber for the toilet. She said, “Sounds like you’re working on a real pipe dream.”
• My new laxative is called “Procrastination”: because I’m putting off taking it until tomorrow.
• Relationship status: I’m currently seeking a partner who can handle my love for gas station bathrooms.
• My ex was a pathological liar: I hope they’re happy in their new relationship… with their new bladder.

Poop Jokes and Puns: A Global Phenomenon in Humor

From toddlers giggling to adults chuckling, poop jokes transcend cultures. “Poop Jokes and Puns” explores this universal fascination with the taboo. It delves into the psychology behind why we find excrement funny, examining how wordplay and cultural context shape these scatological expressions. Get ready for a hilarious and insightful journey…

• I tried to start a support group for people with IBS, but it disbanded because of scheduling conflicts… and urgent bathroom needs.
• What do you call a toilet that’s always telling secrets: A Commode-Innocent-Witness-Program participant.
• My outhouse is a real time machine: One minute you’re in the 21st century, the next you’re swatting flies and wondering if you packed enough wet wipes.
• If you were a text message, I’d accidentally send you to my therapist instead of my crush.
• Image Macro: A picture of a dog wearing a tiny lab coat and holding a toilet bowl cleaner with the caption: “Trust me, I’m a dogtor.”
• I’m not saying I’m addicted to my phone, but I just tried to unlock my front door with facial recognition… while wearing a face mask.
• My dating app bio: “Seeking someone who won’t judge me for eating cereal for dinner… in the bathtub.”
• My lottery strategy is simple: I pick numbers based on my cat’s shedding patterns. It’s purr-fectly scientific.
• I tried to make a joke about my colonoscopy, but it was too hard to get it right. I just couldn’t find the right angle.
• What do you call a fart that can do calculus? A gas-tronomical genius.
• Just had a one-night stand with my dishwasher. Now it won’t stop nagging me about loading it the wrong way.
• My therapist told me to be more present, so I bought everyone I know a Christmas gift.
• Two wet wipes met in a bar. One said, “Hey, are you here to get wet?”
• Why did the germ get a bad review? It was always hanging around in public restrooms, and never wiping its feet.
• Image Macro: A picture of a GPS screen that reads: “Recalculating…your life choices.”

From Toilet Humor to Highbrow Hilarity: The Evolution of Poop Jokes and Puns

“Poop Jokes and Puns” isn’t just about bathroom humor! It’s a fascinating exploration of how jokes about excrement have evolved through history. From ancient Roman scatological wit to modern-day sophisticated puns, we’ll uncover the surprising cultural significance and psychological appeal behind our enduring fascination with, well, poop. Prepare to laugh,…

• My therapist says I have a problem with toilet humor. I told him, “That’s a load of…”
• What do you call a group of constipated people in a band? The Blocked Chords.
• My online dating profile says I’m “looking for a meaningful connection,” but I secretly just want someone to appreciate my ability to hold in a fart during a meeting.
• I tried to sell my diarrhea as a weight loss program, but it didn’t sit right.
• Why did the bacteria get a bad review on Yelp? It was always hanging around in public restrooms, and never wiping its feet.
• Relationship Status: Just had a bad burrito and am now contemplating the meaning of life from my porcelain throne.
• I tried to make a career as a toilet paper salesman, but my sales were always on a roll, then came crashing down.
• Image Macro: A picture of a toilet wearing a tiny pair of headphones, captioned: “Listening to my favorite playlist…while releasing my worries.”
• What do you call a toilet that’s always getting into trouble? A commode-ian!
• I saw my doctor today and he asked me to fill a cup with my pee. I asked, “Why, are you out of tea?”
• What did the toilet paper say to the outhouse? “I’ve got you covered!”
• My favorite thing about being a plumber is I get to be a part of so many people’s lives.
• I tried to donate to the local organ bank. They said they were full… of crap.
• Just had a ‘one night stand’ with my sleep schedule. Woke up feeling more used than rested.
• Why did the septic tank get a speeding ticket? It was going too fast trying to empty its load.

The Psychology Behind Poop Jokes and Puns: Why Do We Find Them Funny?

Why do we chuckle at toilet humor? Poop jokes and puns tap into our shared human experience, breaking social taboos and momentarily freeing us from the constraints of politeness. This unexpected rebellion, combined with the simple, relatable nature of bodily functions, triggers a release of tension and, ultimately, laughter. It’s…

• My therapist said I need to stop suppressing my emotions. Now I’m starting a podcast where I read my gas station bathroom reviews in dramatic voices.
• My dating profile says I’m “open to new experiences,” but what I really mean is I’m willing to try different brands of laxatives.
• I tried to make a joke about a constipated detective, but it was too hard to follow the plot.
• Image Macro: A picture of a roll of toilet paper with a sad face and the caption: “My purpose in life is to be used and discarded. What’s the point?”
• I’m starting a band called “The Rectal Thermometers.” We’re known for our penetrating sound.
• My therapist told me that I have an unhealthy attachment to my toilet. I told her I couldn’t let go.
• What do you call a wet wipe that’s a DJ? A spin-cycle specialist.
• My ex said I was insensitive, but I think they overreacted. (It was a joke about diarrhea.)
• I tried to make a joke about a self-cleaning toilet, but it just wiped itself away.
• What do you call a constipated superhero? Blocked-Man! Fighting for truth, justice, and regular bowel movements.
• My new years resolution is to use less toilet paper, but I’m not making any promises.
• Why did the toilet get a bad grade? It was always full of c-rap.
• I’m starting a support group for people with public restroom anxiety. The first rule is, don’t flush.
• My colonoscopy was so boring, the doctor gave me a participation trophy.
• A man walks into a library and asks for books about hemorrhoids. The librarian whispers, “They’re right up your alley!”

Poop Jokes and Puns in Pop Culture: Movies, TV, and Beyond

From “Dumb and Dumber” to “South Park,” poop jokes have infiltrated pop culture, proving scatological humor’s enduring appeal. These aren’t just childish gags; they often serve as subversive social commentary or simply provide a lowbrow laugh. Whether it’s a well-placed pun or a full-blown fecal fiasco, poop humor continues to…

• Image Macro: A picture of a toilet with a lightsaber, captioned: “May the flush be with you.”
• What does Darth Vader say to Luke Skywalker when he finds him constipated? “Use the Farts, Luke.”
• A Stormtrooper walks into a public restroom… and is immediately reprimanded for poor aim.
• Image Macro: A picture of a toilet paper roll with the caption: “To infinity and beyond… my rear end.”
• Why did the superhero start using a bidet? Because it was his duty.
• What do you call a public restroom on the Starship Enterprise? The final frontier.
• What’s a Dalek’s favorite brand of bathroom cleaner? Domestos-inate.
• Image Macro: A picture of a TARDIS with the caption: “Bigger on the inside… just like my bladder.”
• What do you call a toilet that’s also a Jedi master? Obi-Wan Crapobi.
• Why did Harry Potter get detention in the bathroom? He kept flushing the Sorting Hat down the toilet.
• I tried to make a joke about the toilets in Mordor, but they were all too dark and full of terrors.
• Image Macro: A picture of a toilet paper roll wearing a superhero cape, captioned: “I’m Batman… but for your butt.”
• What does a constipated zombie say? “I can’t brain this anymore!”
• Why was the turd so popular? It had a great personality, and was outstanding in its field.
• Image Macro: A picture of Han Solo in carbonite with a roll of toilet paper, captioned: “Han Solo: A man frozen in carbonite. Toilet Paper: A man frozen in carbonite’s only hope.”

Classy or Crass?: Navigating the Fine Line with Poop Jokes and Puns

Poop jokes: everyone does them, but where’s the line between humorous and just plain gross? “Classy or Crass?” explores that delicate balance. We’ll flush out (pun intended!) the societal acceptance of scatological humor, dissecting what makes a poop pun land well and when it simply stinks. Prepare for a thought-provoking…

• My new autobiography is about the history of toilet paper: It’s a real page-turner… but it ends kind of abruptly.
• I tried to write a song about my bidet, but I just couldn’t find the right flow… it was a real pain in the rear.
• What do you call a public restroom that’s always positive? A happy potty-tude.
• If our love was a bowel movement, I’d say it’s a bit… strained.
• Why did the celebrity hire a wet wipe spokesperson? They wanted to clean up their image.
• Image Macro: A picture of a hamster running in a wheel with the caption: “My digestive system after eating anything remotely spicy”.
• My online dating profile says I’m “open to anything”… as long as it involves a clean restroom.
• I tried to start a band made up entirely of toilets, but it just didn’t flush out.
• Why did the ghost start a porta potty business? He wanted to raise spirits!
• My therapist told me to embrace my inner toilet, but it all just feels like a load of…
• Are you a septic tank? Because I can’t seem to get you out of my head, and I’m a little afraid you’ll explode.
• What do you call a porta potty that’s a motivational speaker: A privy-ating speaker.
• I tried to write a joke about diarrhea, but it just kept running.
• What’s a public restroom’s favorite pickup line? “Hey, are you here often?”
• Image Macro: A picture of a phone with a cracked screen displaying the message ‘You have been permanently suspended from life.’

DIY Poop Jokes and Puns: Crafting Your Own Hilarious Material

Unleash your inner comedian with DIY poop jokes! This guide empowers you to craft your own hilarious material, moving beyond the same old tired gags. We’ll explore the anatomy of a good poop pun, teach you to recognize comedic gold in everyday situations, and help you build a solid foundation…

• I tried to start a compost heap for all my poop jokes, but they were too corny.
• My therapist told me to get more in touch with my inner self. Now I spend all day sitting on the toilet talking.
• Relationship Status: Currently seeking someone who appreciates my dark humor and my crippling addiction to fiber.
• What do you call a haunted public restroom? A spook-tacular facility!
• My last first date was a real disaster, I took her to a sewage treatment plant and she said I was full of crap.
• I’m starting a restroom-themed escape room. You have one hour to find the toilet paper, hand sanitizer, and a way out before it’s too late.
• “I’m not saying I’m addicted to wet wipes, but I’ve started using them to dust my furniture.”
• Image Macro: A picture of a toddler covered in mud with the caption: “Just had a spa day.”
• If you were a bowel movement, I’d have to take you, because I’m full of you.
• I tried to write a love letter to my toilet, but it just didn’t flow.
• “I’m not saying I’m a terrible driver, but my car’s GPS has started suggesting alternative routes that avoid me altogether.”
• What’s a diarrhea’s favorite pickup line? “I’m gonna run this town!”
• Image Macro: A public restroom sign with the caption: “Enter at your own risk. May contain questionable odors and existential dread.”
• My therapist told me to stop projecting… so I made a movie theater-themed outhouse.
• My new dating app matches you based on your last bowel movement. It’s called “Number Two Date.”

Beyond the Laughs: The Unexpected Social Commentary of Poop Jokes and Puns

Poop jokes and puns? More than just bathroom humor! They tap into anxieties about the body, control, and social taboos. By laughing at the “unmentionable,” we playfully challenge norms and hierarchies. It’s a surprisingly insightful way to explore our shared human experience, one chuckle-worthy turd at a time.

• My therapist said I need to learn to let things go… so I’m thinking of hiring a plumber.
• I tried to write a self-help book about constipation, but I’m still working on the introduction.
• Why did the skunk cross the road? Because he saw the outhouse and was desperate for a change of scenery.
• Image Macro: A photo of a dog looking guilty next to a roll of toilet paper. Caption: “I have no idea what happened here, but I’m ready to take the blame.”
• I told my wife I was starting a new career as a professional toilet cleaner. She said, “Well, that’s a load of…”.
• I’m convinced my neighbor is a serial killer, he just keeps using the public restroom with a shovel.
• I told my wife the toilet was clogged with our wedding vows; she didn’t find it funny. Guess our marriage is over.
• Image Macro: A stick figure running away from a porta-potty with the caption: “Me trying to outrun the consequences of gas station sushi.”
• I’m writing a song about my bidet, but I can’t find a good rhyme for “perineum.”
• I tried to return my ex to the store, but they said, “Sorry, we don’t accept returns on used goods.”
• What did the toilet paper say to the clogged toilet? “Don’t worry, I’ve got you covered.”
• What do you call a constipated fortune teller? A mystic with a blockage.
• Warning: May spontaneously have an accident.
• The new porta-potty came with a scratch and sniff sticker: It smells like number two.
• Image Macro: A picture of a person in a hazmat suit with the caption: “Just entering a gas station bathroom.”