150 Best Vermont Jokes and Puns That Will Make You Say Maple Believe It

Ever wonder why Vermont is so good at keeping secrets? It’s because they’re always “mum” about things! Get ready to chuckle your way through the Green Mountain State with a collection of the best Vermont jokes and puns. We’ve gathered some seriously cheesy (and maple-syrupy) humor that will leave you laughing out loud.

From jokes about the changing seasons to puns about famous landmarks, this post is packed with wit and charm. Whether you’re a Vermont native or just appreciate a good laugh, you’re sure to find something to tickle your funny bone.

So, grab a glass of cider, settle into your coziest chair, and prepare to be entertained by the lighter side of Vermont!

Best Vermont Jokes and Puns That Will Make You Say Maple Believe It

• Why did the Vermonter cross the road? To prove to the flatlander it could be done.
• What’s the difference between a Vermonter and a puppy? Eventually, the puppy stops whining.
• A New Yorker asked a Vermonter, “How many people work on your farm?” The Vermonter replied, “About half.”
• Why don’t they play poker in Vermont? Too many maple leaves on the table.
• What did the Vermonter say to the leaf peeper? “I’m trying to rake a living here!”
• How do you know when a Vermonter is telling a joke? They start with “Seriously though…”
• A flatlander walks into a Vermont general store and asks, “Do you have any organic, gluten-free, fair-trade, locally-sourced kale chips?” The Vermonter behind the counter replies, “Sir, this is a hardware store.”
• Why did the Vermonter bring a ladder to the bar? They heard the drinks were on the house.
• What do you call a Vermonter with a sense of humor? A rare breed.
• Two Vermonters are sitting on a porch. One says, “Nice weather we’re having.” The other replies, “Yep, should last ’til it changes.”
• Why was the Vermonter staring at the orange juice carton? It said “concentrate.”
• A Vermonter won the lottery and was asked what he’d do with the money. He said, “I reckon I’ll keep farmin’ ’til it’s all gone.”
• What’s a Vermonter’s favorite type of music? Anything they can tap their foot to while waitin’ for the mud season to end.
• A tourist asked a Vermonter for directions to a specific town. The Vermonter said, “Well, you can get there from here, but it’s a lot easier to get there from there.”
• Why did the Vermonter get fired from the M&M factory? He kept throwing out all the W’s.

Vermont Jokes: Udderly Hilarious Dairy Humor

Looking for laughs as fresh as Vermont’s air? “Udderly Hilarious Dairy Humor” is your guide to the state’s punniest side. From cow-related quips to cheesy one-liners, this collection within ‘Vermont Jokes and Puns’ is sure to milk some smiles. Get ready for a moo-ving experience that’s both corny and charmingly…

• I tried to make a joke about a Vermont ski resort, but it was too *slope-stick* for my material.
• What do you call a Vermont cheese that’s a great comedian: A real *curd*-jester with a lot of dairy-good humor.
• A Vermont maple tree was feeling philosophical: it said it was having a real *sap*-ient moment of self-reflection.
• Why did the Vermont cow get a new job? It wanted to branch out and get a little more *udder-standing* in a different field.
• I tried to write a song about Vermont’s covered bridges, but it was a little too *cross-over* for my style.
• What do you call a Vermont ghost that loves to shop at the farmer’s market?: A spirit of retail therapy, always haunting the produce aisles, and searching for the freshest maple syrup.
• A Vermont mountain was feeling overwhelmed, it said it was having a real *peak* of anxiety and too many rocky problems.
• Why did the Vermont farmer get a new GPS? He was tired of getting lost in all the *dairy*-ous twists and turns of the back roads.
• What’s a Vermonter’s favorite type of historical document: Anything with a good “green” story, and a lot of lore from the early settlers, especially if it mentions maple syrup, naturally.
• I tried to make a joke about a Vermont cow, but it was a little too *moo-ving* to get a clear punchline.
• A Vermont maple syrup was trying to learn to dance: but it was a little too *sticky* for the dance floor.
• What do you call a Vermont squirrel that’s always telling jokes? A real *nut-cracker* of a comedian, always ready with a tree-mendous pun.
• I tried to explain to my friend what a Vermont winter is like, it was a real *polar-izing* conversation, with a lot of icy remarks and a real chill to the bone.
• Why did the Vermont clock get a new job as a tour guide? It wanted to be surrounded by timeless classics, and maybe get a little more well-read, and a better sense of the past.
• A Vermont hiker was feeling philosophical: he said he was having a real *peak* experience, and a lot of high-altitude thoughts about the meaning of life, and a real love for the Green Mountains.

Maple Syrup Madness: Sweet Vermont Puns

Dive into Vermont’s humor with “Maple Syrup Madness”! This collection of sweet puns is pure gold, just like the state’s famous syrup. From “I’m feeling maple-licious” to “Don’t be a sap,” you’ll find plenty of chuckle-worthy jokes. It’s the perfect dose of Vermont charm for anyone who loves a good…

• A Vermont maple tree was feeling dramatic: it said it was having a real sap-rising revelation and a lot of tree-mendous emotions.
• Why did the Vermont cheese get a new job as a motivational speaker: It had a lot of curdy wisdom to share, and a real way of cutting through the bull.
• What do you call a Vermont ghost that loves to shop at the co-op? A spirit of retail therapy, always haunting the local organic aisles.
• A Vermont maple syrup was trying to learn how to knit: but it was a little too sticky for the yarn, and a real sweet tangle of thread.
• Why did the Vermont clock get a new job as a yoga instructor? It was great at helping people find their inner peace, and a real sense of timeless balance.
• What’s a Vermont mountain’s favorite type of music: Anything with a good climb-ing beat, and a lot of high-altitude harmonies.
• Why did the Vermont farmer bring a ladder to the sugarbush: He heard the maple sap was on another level, and he wanted to reach new heights of sweetness.
• A Vermont cow was feeling philosophical: it said it was having a real *moo*-ving experience of self-reflection, and a lot of bovine thoughts about the meaning of life.
• I tried to make a joke about Vermont’s covered bridges, but it was a little too cross-over for my taste.
• A Vermont historian was trying to explain the state’s past: It was a real *chronicle* of events, with a lot of Green Mountain tales.
• Why did the Vermont maple syrup go to school? It wanted to get a little more cultured, and a real taste of knowledge.
• What do you call a Vermont scarecrow that’s a skilled mathematician?: A real straw-tistician, always outstanding in his field.
• A Vermont tourist asked, “Is it always this beautiful here?” The local replied, “Yeah, it’s a real Green Mountain state of mind, especially with a creemee in hand.”
• Why did the Vermont politician bring a ladder to the debate? He heard the other side was trying to reach new heights of rhetoric, and he wanted a better view.
• What’s a Vermonter’s favorite type of historical document?: Anything with a good “green” story, and a lot of lore from the early settlers, especially if it mentions maple syrup, naturally.

Ski Season Shenanigans: Winter Vermont Jokes

Ready to hit the slopes and the punchlines? “Ski Season Shenanigans” dives into Vermont’s winter wonderland with a flurry of jokes and puns. Expect icy wit about powder days, maple syrup mishaps, and maybe even a moose on the mountain. It’s the perfect way to warm up after a chilly…

• A Vermont snowboarder was having trouble with his new gear: he said it was a real *binding* situation.
• Why did the Vermont ski instructor get a new job as a librarian: He wanted to share his love of *book-ing* it down the slopes.
• A Vermont skier was feeling philosophical: they said they were having a real *peak* experience of thought.
• What do you call a Vermont snowman that’s always telling jokes? A real snow-stopper of a comedian, always ready to *melt* your heart with a laugh.
• A Vermont snowdrift was feeling overwhelmed: it said it had too many *drifts* of responsibility and a real need to just chill out, naturally.
• Why did the Vermont maple tree get a new job at the ski lodge? It wanted to be a real *tap* of the slopes, and be surrounded by all the winter action.
• What’s a Vermont ghost’s favorite winter activity? *Boo*-sleigh riding, naturally.
• A Vermont ice skater was trying to learn how to knit, but it was a real slippery-situation with all the needles, and a real *ice-olation* from the warm-up room.
• A Vermont ski lift was feeling philosophical: it said it was having a real *lift*-ing experience of thought, and a real way of seeing things from above, naturally.
• Why did the Vermont snowplow get a new job as a motivational speaker? It had a real way of clearing the path for others, and a lot of uplifting advice to share.
• I tried to make a joke about a Vermont ski slope, but it was too *downhill* to get a good reaction.
• What’s a Vermont beaver’s favorite type of winter sport? *Dam* good skiing, naturally.
• A Vermont icicle was feeling dramatic: it said it was having a real *freeze* of emotions, and a lot of winter melancholy.
• Why did the Vermont ski instructor bring a map to the slopes: They heard the runs were a little confusing, and they didn’t want to get lost in the *powder*, naturally.
• A Vermont snowboarder was feeling down, they said they were having a real *slope*-less day.

Leaf Peeper Laughs: Fall Foliage Vermont Puns

Looking for some autumn chuckles? “Leaf Peeper Laughs” is your guide to Vermont’s punniest side! This collection of fall foliage jokes will have you saying “Oh my gourd!” From colorful quips about maples to silly sayings about scenic drives, it’s the perfect companion for your Vermont leaf-peeping adventure. Get ready…

• A Vermont maple syrup was trying to learn how to dance: but it was a little too *sticky* for the dance floor, and kept getting stuck in the *sweet* spot.
• What do you call a Vermonter with a sense of humor: A rare breed, especially during mud season.
• Why did the Vermonter cross the road: To prove to the flatlander it could be done, and to maybe find a better view of the fall foliage.
• A Vermont maple tree was feeling dramatic: it said it was having a real sap-rising revelation and a lot of tree-mendous emotions.
• How do you know when a Vermonter is telling a joke: They start with “Seriously though…”, and then deliver a deadpan punchline.
• A Vermont maple syrup was trying to learn to dance: but it was a little too *sticky* for the dance floor.
• I tried to make a joke about a Vermont cow, but it was a little too *moo-ving* to get a clear punchline, and a bit too cheesy.
• A Vermont ice skater was trying to learn how to knit, but it was a real slippery-situation with all the needles and a real *ice-olation* from the warm-up room.
• I tried to explain to my friend what a Vermont winter is like, it was a real *polar-izing* conversation, with a lot of icy remarks and a real chill to the bone.
• I tried to make a joke about a Vermont ski resort, but it was too *slope-stick* for my material, and a bit too downhill for my taste.
• A Vermont ski lift was feeling philosophical: it said it was having a real *lift*-ing experience of thought, and a real way of seeing things from above, naturally.
• Why did the Vermont politician bring a ladder to the debate: He heard the other side was trying to reach new heights of rhetoric, and wanted to be prepared with a good view.
• A tourist asked a local, “Is it always this beautiful here?” The Vermonter replied, “Only when the leaves are changing, and the mountains are showing off, and when the creemees are flowing, naturally.”
• A flatlander walks into a Vermont general store and asks, “Do you have any organic, gluten-free, fair-trade, locally-sourced kale chips?” The Vermonter behind the counter replies, “Sir, this is a hardware store, we sell maple syrup and flannel.”
• A Vermonter was trying to explain their state’s unique charm, he said it was a little bit mountain, a little bit lake, and a whole lot of “you can’t get there from here” roads, and a real love for a good creemee.

Ben & Jerry’s Banter: Ice Cream-Themed Vermont Jokes

Looking for a scoop of laughter? Dive into “Ben & Jerry’s Banter,” a collection of ice cream-themed Vermont jokes! This isn’t just any pun-fest; it’s a creamy concoction of local humor, blending Vermont’s quirky charm with everyone’s favorite frozen treat. Get ready for some sweet chuckles and maybe even a…

• A Vermont cow was trying to learn how to make ice cream, but it kept churning out a *moo-tual* mess.
• Why did the Vermont maple syrup get a new job at the ice cream factory: It wanted to be a little more cultured, and a real *sweet* addition to the menu.
• A Vermont ice cream maker was feeling philosophical, they said they were having a real *scoop* of self-reflection.
• What do you call a Vermont ice cream that’s always telling jokes?: A real *cone*-edian, always ready to deliver a laugh.
• Why did the Vermont ice cream truck get a flat tire? It was having a real *meltdown* of a day.
• A Vermont ice cream cone was feeling overwhelmed, it said it had too many *swirls* of emotion.
• Why did the Vermont ice cream go to the library? It wanted to find a good *scoop* on some new flavors.
• What’s a Vermont ice cream’s favorite type of music?: Anything with a good *churn* to it.
• A Vermont ice cream was trying to learn how to dance: but it was a little too *smooth* for the dance floor.
• Why did the Vermont ice cream get a new job as a motivational speaker?: It had a lot of *uplifting* insights to share, and a real way of keeping things cool.
• A Vermont ice cream maker was trying to explain their secret recipe, but it was a bit too *dairy* for my taste, a real milk-shake of a mystery.
• What do you call a Vermont ice cream that loves to travel: A real *globe-trotter*, always ready for a new adventure with a scoop of something sweet.
• Why did the Vermont ice cream start a band? It wanted to make some *chilling* tunes, with a real smooth sound and a lot of local flavor.
• A Vermont ice cream was trying to learn how to ski: but it was a bit too slippery for the slopes, a real *cold* challenge.
• Why did the Vermont ice cream get a new job as a detective: It was great at getting to the *bottom* of things, and a real *scoop* of talent for solving mysteries.

Hiking Hilarity: Mountainous Vermont Puns

Looking for a laugh? Vermont’s got you covered, especially if you’re into hiking! “Hiking Hilarity” is a treasure trove of mountain-themed puns, perfect for sharing on the trail or around a campfire. From peak-a-boo jokes to rocky one-liners, this collection will have you grinning from ear-to-ear, even if your legs…

• A Vermont maple syrup was trying to learn to snowboard, but it was a bit of a sticky situation on the slopes.
• A Green Mountain hiker was feeling philosophical, they said they were having a real *peak* experience of thought.
• Why did the Vermont cow bring a map to the pasture? She heard the grass was greener on the other side of the hill, and didn’t want to get lost in all the foliage.
• I tried to make a joke about a Vermont covered bridge, but it was a little too *cross-over* for my taste.
• What do you call a lazy bear in the Green Mountains?: A real trail-blocker, just taking the scenic route, and a real slow-mover, naturally.
• A Vermont cheese was trying to learn how to yodel, but it was a bit too *curd*-led for the high notes.
• Why did the Vermont politician bring a ladder to the debate? He heard the other side was trying to reach new heights of rhetoric and wanted to have a better view of the competition.
• A Vermont maple tree was feeling overwhelmed, it said it had too many sap-related issues, and a real need to branch out.
• I tried to write a song about a Vermont mountain stream, but it was too *current* for my style, a real flow of inspiration that just wouldn’t stay still.
• What’s a Vermont ghost’s favorite type of road? A covered bridge back road, naturally, and a little spooky.
• A Vermont ice cream cone was trying to learn to ice skate, but it was a real melt-down on the rink.
• Why did the Vermont scarecrow become a travel agent?: He was outstanding in his field, and had a real knack for finding the best scenic routes, especially during leaf-peeping season.
• What do you call a Vermont squirrel that loves to go hiking?: A real trail-blazer, always exploring the Green Mountains and finding the best spots to bury their nuts.
• A Vermont maple syrup was feeling blue, it said it was having a real case of the maple-choly and a bit of a sticky situation.
• I tried to make a joke about a Vermont winter, but it was a little too *polar-izing* for my audience, and a real chill to the bone.

Moose Merriment: Wildlife-Related Vermont Jokes

Looking for a laugh that’s as wild as the Green Mountains? Then dive into “Moose Merriment,” a collection of Vermont jokes and puns specifically focused on our furry, antlered friends and other local wildlife. It’s a hilarious detour from the usual maple syrup humor, offering a fresh perspective on the…

• A Vermont moose was trying to learn how to play the bagpipes, it was a real *skirl*-y situation.
• Why did the Vermont moose start a podcast? It had a lot of *antler*-esting stories to share.
• A Vermont bear was trying to learn how to knit, but it was a bit of a *claw*-ful experience.
• What’s a Vermont squirrel’s favorite type of historical document? Anything with a good *nut*-worthy story and a lot of lore from the Green Mountains.
• A Vermont beaver was trying to learn how to yodel, it was a bit of a *dam*-med challenge.
• Why was the Vermont bird so bad at hide-and-seek? It kept getting *tweet*-spotted in the maple trees.
• A Vermont deer was trying to learn how to play the trombone, it was a bit too *antler*-ward to reach the notes.
• Why did the Vermont porcupine refuse to share its snacks? It was a little too *prickly* about its possessions.
• A Vermont coyote was trying to learn how to ski, but it was a bit too *howl*-ing on the slopes.
• Why did the Vermont skunk get a job at the library? It had a real *scent* for knowledge and a love for a quiet space.
• What do you call a Vermont raccoon that loves to cook? A real *trash*-can chef, always finding the best ingredients in the most unexpected places.
• A Vermont moose was trying to learn how to tap dance, but it was having a real *hoof*-full time with all the steps.
• Why did the Vermont wolf start a book club? It was always craving a good *pack* of stories to dig into.
• What’s a Vermont rabbit’s favorite type of historical event? The Boston Tea Party, it’s a real *nut*-worthy moment of rebellion, and an opportunity to collect some stray tea leaves.
• A Vermont bear was trying to learn how to paint: It was a bit too *paw*-some to hold the brush steady, but the colors were wild.

Charming Chuckles: Small Town Life Vermont Puns

Looking for a laugh as crisp as a Vermont apple? “Charming Chuckles” is your ticket! This collection of small-town life puns is a delightful dive into the witty side of Vermont. From maple syrup shenanigans to cow-related quips, it’s a guaranteed giggle-fest for anyone who loves a good, homegrown joke….

• A Vermont maple syrup was trying to learn to dance: but it was a little too *sticky* for the dance floor.
• Why did the Vermonter cross the road? To prove to the flatlander it could be done.
• What do you call a Vermonter with a sense of humor? A rare breed.
• A Vermont ice cream cone was trying to learn to ice skate, but it was a real melt-down on the rink.
• Why did the Vermont maple tree get a new job at the ski lodge? It wanted to be a real *tap* of the slopes, and be surrounded by all the winter action.
• A flatlander walks into a Vermont general store and asks, “Do you have any organic, gluten-free, fair-trade, locally-sourced kale chips?” The Vermonter behind the counter replies, “Sir, this is a hardware store, we sell maple syrup and flannel.”
• Why did the Vermont politician bring a ladder to the debate? He heard the other side was trying to reach new heights of rhetoric, and he wanted a better view.
• A Vermont cow was trying to learn how to make ice cream, but it kept churning out a *moo-tual* mess.
• What’s a Vermonter’s favorite type of historical document?: Anything with a good “green” story, and a lot of lore from the early settlers, especially if it mentions maple syrup, naturally.
• Two Vermonters are sitting on a porch. One says, “Nice weather we’re having.” The other replies, “Yep, should last ’til it changes.”
• Why was the Vermont bird so bad at hide-and-seek? It kept getting *tweet*-spotted in the maple trees.
• I tried to make a joke about a Vermont ski resort, but it was too *slope-stick* for my material, and a bit too downhill for my taste.
• What do you call a Vermont squirrel that loves to go hiking?: A real trail-blazer, always exploring the Green Mountains and finding the best spots to bury their nuts.
• A Vermont ice skater was trying to learn how to knit, but it was a real slippery-situation with all the needles, and a real *ice-olation* from the warm-up room.
• Why did the Vermont snowplow get a new job as a motivational speaker? It had a real way of clearing the path for others, and a lot of uplifting advice to share.