150 Best Toilet Jokes and Puns: The Ultimate Flush of Humor

Ready to flush away the blues with some seriously silly humor? Let’s face it, everyone secretly loves a good chuckle, even if it’s a little… *ahem*… potty-mouthed.

We’re diving headfirst into the wonderfully weird world of toilet jokes and puns! Prepare for a deluge of bathroom-themed hilarity that’s guaranteed to make you groan (and maybe giggle).

From clever wordplay to downright ridiculous scenarios, get ready to experience the lighter side of the lavatory. Let the toilet humor commence!

Best Toilet Jokes and Puns: The Ultimate Flush of Humor

• I told my toilet it was looking a bit flushed. It wasn’t impressed.
• Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill? To get to the bottom!
• I’m writing a book about toilets. It’s going to be a number one bestseller!
• What do you call a sad toilet? A loo-ser.
• My therapist told me to embrace my inner child. So, I flushed a toy down the toilet. Now I’m grounded.
• I tried to unclog my toilet with positive affirmations. Turns out, it needed a plunger, not encouragement.
• What do you get if you cross a plumber with a detective? Someone who can find out who dunny-it.
• I saw a documentary about toilets last night. It was draining.
• Never date a toilet. They’re always full of crap.
• Why did the toilet refuse to go to the party? It was afraid it would get flushed with embarrassment.
• I’m starting a band called “The Clogs.” We’re known for our catchy, but ultimately disposable, tunes.
• My toilet has commitment issues. It keeps saying, “I can’t handle this anymore!”
• A man walks into a library, goes to the librarian and says, “I’d like to check out a book about paranoia!” The librarian whispers, “It’s right behind you!” Much like my toilet when I’ve eaten too many beans.
• I accidentally dropped my car keys in the toilet. Now I have to plunge my car.
• What do you call a toilet that tells jokes? A commedian.

Toilet Jokes and Puns: The Ultimate Flush of Laughter

Dive into “Toilet Jokes and Puns: The Ultimate Flush of Laughter” and prepare for a torrent of potty humor! This collection is overflowing with groan-worthy puns, silly scenarios, and bathroom-related gags that are guaranteed to make you chuckle. Whether you’re on the throne or just need a quick laugh, this…

• My toilet is a real conversationalist: It always has something to say, but it’s usually just a load of…
• What do you call a toilet that can play the violin: A fecal fiddler.
• Image Macro: A toilet seat wearing a tiny life preserver, captioned: “Navigating rough waters.”
• I tried to train my cat to use the toilet: It just stared at me, unimpressed, and then used the bathtub.
• My therapist told me to embrace my inner bathroom: I’m still trying to figure out how to be both functional and aesthetically pleasing.
• Relationship status: Seeking someone who appreciates my sense of humor and my ability to find the nearest public restroom in a 10-mile radius.
• Why did the toilet paper get a standing ovation at the talent show: It always gave a stellar performance.
• What do you call a toilet that’s also a fortune teller: A potty psychic.
• My new autobiography is about my colonoscopy: It’s a real page-turner.
• Gas station bathrooms: Where the only thing more questionable than the cleanliness is the life choices that led you to be there.
• If you were a toilet I’d sit for you.
• Honeymoon packing: Trying to decide if I need the fancy lingerie or just a really good air freshener.
• My therapist says I need to express my creativity. So, I started sculpting miniature toilets out of clay.
• Image Macro: A picture of a stick figure running away from a porta potty with the caption: “That gas station sushi was a lie.”
• Looking for a partner who won’t mind if I judge the cleanliness of their bathroom. (It’s a dealbreaker.)

Toilet Jokes and Puns: Are They Really That Funny?

Toilet humor, let’s face it, can be a bit… divisive. Some find the sheer absurdity of potty puns and bathroom-related jokes hilarious, while others cringe. Is it the taboo nature of the subject or the often-crude delivery that makes it so polarizing? Perhaps the answer lies in the flushing of…

• My toilet’s so smart, it gives me a play-by-play of every flush.
• What do you call a toilet that can sing opera? A commode-tenor.
• I tried to start a toilet paper folding club, but everyone kept getting unrolled.
• A toilet seat walks into a bar. Bartender says, “Hey, we don’t serve food here.”
• My therapist told me to write a letter to my toilet, but I’m not sure how to express my feelings in a single ply.
• Warning: This toilet is equipped with a self-esteem boost feature. Results may vary.
• Why did the toilet get a promotion at the office? He was outstanding in his field of expertise.
• This toilet is so fancy, it has a built-in white noise machine that plays the sound of ocean waves.
• Relationship status: Currently searching for the end of the toilet paper roll.
• I tried to make a joke about a toilet, but it kept getting flushed down the drain.
• Why did the toilet paper refuse to go to the party? It was too bashful, it had stage fright.
• My toilet is like a blank canvas: ready for whatever masterpieces I create.
• Image Macro: A toilet wearing a pair of sunglasses with the caption: “Living the high life.”
• Image Macro: A roll of toilet paper with a thought bubble that says, “I’m on a roll!”
• Image Macro: A porta potty with the caption: “My happy place.”

Toilet Jokes and Puns: Clean Humor or Down the Drain?

Toilet humor: we all encounter it! But is it genuinely funny, or just…gross? Exploring toilet jokes and puns reveals a surprising range, from clever wordplay to juvenile gags. While some find it lowbrow, others appreciate the unexpected humor in everyday bodily functions. Ultimately, whether it’s clean fun or down the…

• Image Macro: A picture of a toilet with a tiny desk and keyboard, captioned: “Working from home.”
• What do you call a toilet that’s a therapist? A loo-counselor.
• My toilet has a built-in GPS. I guess you could say it’s a real “crap-tographer.”
• Why did the plumber go to art school? He heard it was a place where he could really express his inner *flow*.
• I tried to start a toilet paper-themed advice column. It was a real waste.
• Relationship status: Just had a life-changing bowel movement and am ready to conquer the world…or at least the grocery store.
• I’m thinking of becoming a public restroom critic. It’s a tough job, but someone’s gotta take the plunge.
• My outhouse is so rustic, it has a dirt floor and a five-star view.
• What does a toilet say when you’re too long in the bathroom? “Are you gonna flush or what?”
• Warning: May spontaneously start building a toilet paper pyramid.
• Two rolls of toilet paper are talking. One says, “I’m feeling a little down.” The other replies, “Don’t worry, you’ll get through it. Just take it one sheet at a time.”
• Why did the toilet get a promotion at the office? He was outstanding in his field of expertise.
• Image Macro: A roll of toilet paper with a thought bubble that says, “I’m just trying to make the world a softer place.”
• My therapist told me to embrace my inner plumber. I told him I was afraid of getting drained.
• I saw a porta-potty wearing a tuxedo and a monocle. It was a sophisticated flush.

Toilet Jokes and Puns: When is it Appropriate to Tell Them?

Toilet humor can be a slippery slope. While a well-placed potty pun might flush out some laughs in casual settings with close friends, tread carefully! Consider your audience: a formal dinner or work meeting is definitely a no-go. Gauge the room’s vibe and remember, humor should uplift, not offend. Know…

• Why did the public restroom start a band? Because it had a captive audience.
• I replaced my toilet with a vintage model, now I have to use a plunger and outhouse it.
• I tried to make a joke about bidets, but I was afraid it would spray out of control.
• I’m so tech-savvy, I can now control my toilet flushes with voice commands.
• My friend told me I had a toilet problem. I told him I was just trying to be number one.
• What did the toilet say to the fart that wouldn’t leave? You crack me up.
• Image Macro: A picture of two toilets wearing wedding rings, captioned: “They found their perfect match… in the bathroom.”
• My therapist told me to embrace my inner plumber, but all I could think about was unclogging my emotions.
• I tried to start a business selling toilet paper, but it was a real wipe-out.
• The toilet store is having a sale; everything must go. I guess you could say they’re getting flushed with deals.
• What do you call a toilet with a secret? A commode-ian.
• I tried to write a song about my toilet, but it was too hard to find a good rhyme.
• I’m so good at making toilet jokes, I should be a stand-up commode-ian.
• Image Macro: A picture of a confused dog looking at a toilet bowl with the caption: “Is this a water fountain? A portal? Help!”
• I tried to make a career in the bathroom fixture industry, but my ideas kept getting flushed and the boss said I had a bad attitude.

Toilet Jokes and Puns: A Comedian’s Secret Weapon?

Let’s face it, everyone uses the toilet! That shared experience makes toilet humor surprisingly relatable. From flushing puns to potty jokes, comedians often leverage this universal act for easy laughs. While some find it crass, when done cleverly, toilet humor can be a surprisingly effective way to break the ice…

• My toilet paper is so absorbent, it soaks up all my problems…but it also clogs my drain.
• Why did the germ hate the gas station bathroom? It was always getting wiped out!
• Image Macro: A picture of a toilet with a sign that reads, “Please flush responsibly. We’re all downstream from someone.”
• I tried to write a song about my toilet, but it just didn’t have the right ring to it.
• What do you call a toilet that’s a secret agent? Double-O-Flush!
• Why did the toilet seat get a parking ticket? It was in a no-standing zone.
• My new autobiography is about my time as a toilet paper tester; it’s a real page-turner, but it ends abruptly.
• I started a support group for people who have been cheated on. We meet every Tuesday… in a public restroom.
• My therapist told me to embrace my inner plumber. Now I just wander around fixing leaky faucets… and making terrible jokes.
• My new year’s resolution is to use less toilet paper. It’s a wipe in progress.
• My IBS is like a surprise party for my colon: and nobody likes surprise parties.
• My date said my kisses were like a dentist appointment: thorough, but not exactly enjoyable.
• What do you call a toilet that’s always lying? A commode-ian.
• Image Macro: A roll of toilet paper with a thought bubble that says, “I’m on a roll!”
• If you were a public restroom, I wouldn’t want to touch you

Toilet Jokes and Puns: Ranked by Funniness Level

Dive into the wonderfully weird world of toilet humor! Our ranking of toilet jokes and puns explores the spectrum from groan-worthy to genuinely hilarious. We flush out the best (and worst) potty-mouthed wordplay, judging each joke on its originality, delivery, and sheer ability to make you snort with laughter. Prepare…

• My toilet paper roll is a minimalist; It’s only accepting the bare necessities.
• I tried to train my toilet paper roll to bring me the newspaper, but it just kept getting lost on the way.
• Why did the outhouse start a YouTube channel? It wanted to become a number two influencer.
• I tried to explain to my toddler what the toilet was for. He just looked confused and said, “But where do the monsters go?”
• You know, the public restroom is a strange place, it’s where you can find both hope and despair all within a few square feet.
• My septic tank has a great personality. It’s very down to earth but sometimes gives off a bad vibe.
• I thought I was being smooth by winking at the gas station attendant, but I accidentally blinked really slowly, and looked like I was having a stroke.
• Why did the wet wipe have a problem with his landlord: It was always getting used and washed away.
• You know, I always thought happiness started with an “H,” but it turns out it starts with “U”…rinal.
• My therapist told me to stop suppressing my emotions. So I wrote a musical about my bowel movements.
• Two plungers met in a bar. One said, “Hey, are you here to get drunk?”
• I tried to get a job as a water tester, but had to quit, I just couldn’t hold it in anymore.
• I’m starting a new business that delivers outhouses to your doorstep: A real *portable* service.
• What do you call a toilet that loves Star Wars: A commode-ian.
• Image Macro: A picture of a toilet with a tombstone that reads: “Here lies my self-respect, after eating gas station sushi”.

Toilet Jokes and Puns: From Bathroom Stalls to the Big Stage

“Toilet Jokes and Puns” explores the surprisingly rich world of bathroom humor. From crude stall scribbles to clever comedic routines, we’ll flush out the history and psychology behind our fascination with potty talk. Why do we find these jokes so appealing? Prepare for a deep dive (not literally, we hope!)…

• My therapist says I have a problem with toilet humor. I told him, “I’m just flushing out my feelings!”
• What do you call a toilet that’s also a musician? A potty-mouthpiece.
• I tried to write a song about my toilet, but it had no flow.
• Just got a new toilet, it’s a real throne-derbolt of innovation.
• Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill? To get to the bottom of things, and because I didn’t want to flush it.
• What do you call a toilet that’s always complaining? A commode-ian.
• My new aftershave smells like a gas station bathroom; it’s a real conversation starter.
• I went to a public restroom-themed restaurant. The food was okay, but the ambiance was a bit…draining.
• What’s a toilet paper’s favorite holiday? Wipe-r Day.
• Image Macro: A picture of a porta potty wearing a tiny crown, captioned: “Bow down to your porcelain throne… for 15 minutes or less.”
• My love life is like a public restroom: I hope for the best, but expect the worst.
• Why did the toilet get a promotion at work? It was outstanding in its field… of waste management.
• What did the toilet say to the plumber? “You look flushed.”
• I’m not saying I’m a bad kisser, but my date said it felt like being attacked by a whirlpool.
• Relationship status: Seeking someone to hold my hair back… while I’m worshipping the porcelain god.

Toilet Jokes and Puns: How to Write Your Own

Ready to flush away the competition with your humor? “Toilet Jokes and Puns: How to Write Your Own” is your guide to crafting laugh-out-loud lavatory laughs. Learn the art of the potty pun, master the art of the commode comedy, and discover the secrets to writing jokes that truly *bowl*…

• My toilet paper roll is a philosopher: always pondering the existential weight of wiping.
• I tried to teach my bidet to do taxes: It just kept spraying water everywhere, a real fiscal squirt.
• **Image Macro:** A picture of a cat wearing a tiny plumber’s belt, holding a wrench, with the caption: “If I fits, I fixes.”
• What do you call a toilet that’s a fortune teller: A privy-dictor.
• My new dating app matches you based on how long you spend in the bathroom: It’s called ‘Porcelain Partners’.
• I’m convinced my septic tank is the reason I have writer’s block: It’s too full of crap.
• Trying to take a selfie on the toilet: My face is all scrunched up, but at least the lighting is good.
• I’m starting a support group for people who can’t find the end of the toilet paper roll: We’ll call it “The Loose End Society.”
• What do you call a toilet that’s also a fashion designer? A стиlе ехсrеmеntrіѕt.
• I got a new toilet with a built-in sound system: It’s a real throne-a-rama.
• I just bought a lifetime supply of laxatives… or a week’s worth of gas station sushi, whichever comes first.
• Why did the toilet paper cross the road? It was trying to get to the other side… for a clean getaway.
• My therapist said I should write a book about my life, but I’m afraid it will be a real page-turner… in the bathroom.
• **Image Macro:** A picture of a roll of toilet paper wearing a tiny crown, and a caption: “I’m not saying I’m royalty, but you’re about to treat me like it.”
• My outhouse is so old, it has a history book in it: It’s a real page-turner, but also a bit smelly.