150 Best Constipation Jokes and Puns That Will Move You To Laughter

Feeling a little backed up? We’ve all been there! Sometimes, all you need is a good laugh to get things moving, and that’s where we come in.

Get ready for a hilarious collection of constipation jokes and puns that are guaranteed to unclog your funny bone. Prepare to laugh (maybe a little too hard) at these lighthearted takes on a not-so-lighthearted topic.

So, sit back, relax, and let’s get this laughter flowing with the best constipation jokes and puns the internet has to offer!

Best Constipation Jokes and Puns That Will Move You To Laughter

• I tried to write a book about constipation, but I couldn’t get past the introduction.
• What did the constipated mathematician say? “I can’t work it out!”
• I went to a party for people with bowel problems. It was really hard to get a good seat.
• My friend told me a constipation joke yesterday. I’m still waiting for it to come out.
• Constipation: The feeling of being full of crap, but having nowhere to put it.
• Why did the constipated accountant quit his job? He couldn’t handle the numbers anymore!
• I’m writing a song about constipation. It’s a real struggle to get the melody flowing. It’s a real *blockbuster* of a song
• My doctor asked if I was having trouble going to the bathroom. I said, “Yeah, it’s a real pain in the rear.”
• Two olives are sitting in a tree. One falls out. The other one says, “Are you okay?” The first olive replies, “Yeah, I’m just a little backed up.”
• What do you call a constipated philosopher? One who’s full of deep thoughts, but can’t express them.
• I told my wife I was feeling constipated. She said, “Just think happy thoughts!” I said, “That’s not how any of this works!”
• Constipation: the ultimate test of patience. It’s like waiting for your Amazon package, but much, much worse.
• [Image of a traffic jam with the caption] “Me trying to have a normal bowel movement.”
• I tried a new laxative yesterday. Now I can’t stop! It’s a real… blowout sale!
• My therapist told me to embrace my constipation. Turns out, it’s pretty hard to let go.

Constipation Jokes: A Pain in the Asphalt?

Constipation jokes: are they a comedic goldmine or just plain straining? This collection explores the humor (or lack thereof) in jokes about blocked bowels. From puns that are a bit backed-up to observations on the discomfort, we’ll see if this topic can truly deliver laughs, or if it’s just a…

• My therapist told me to embrace my constipation, but I just can’t seem to let things go.
• I tried to write a song about constipation, but it just wouldn’t come out right.
• What do you call a constipated mathematician? Unable to calculate.
• I have a great constipation joke to tell you, but it’s stuck.
• My constipation is like a bad relationship: I know I need to end it, but I’m having trouble letting go.
• Tried to get a job as a laxative promoter, but I lacked drive.
• My constipation is like a horror movie: a lot of suspense, but nothing ever happens.
• What did the constipated detective say? I’m working on the case.
• I tried to help my constipated friend, but all my advice was blocked.
• My constipation is like a writer’s block: a struggle to produce something worthwhile.
• What do you call a constipated superhero? Blocked-Man!
• Image Macro: A picture of a traffic jam with the caption: “My digestive system this morning.”
• I told my doctor I was constipated. He said, “Well, that’s not very *regular*.”
• My constipation is like a stand-up comedy show: A lot of build-up, but no delivery.
• I’m starting a constipation relief band, but it is slow to take off.

Relief Through Laughter: Finding Humor in Constipation Jokes

Let’s face it, everyone’s been there. That’s why constipation jokes hit a certain spot – a relatable, albeit uncomfortable, truth. Finding humor in “the struggle” offers a surprising sense of relief. These puns and gags transform a frustrating experience into a shared, laugh-out-loud moment, reminding us that even the most…

• My therapist suggested I try to embrace my constipation: I’m still trying to get comfortable with it.
• I tried to write a novel about constipation: but I couldn’t get past the first chapter.
• Why did the constipated mathematician get a time out? He couldn’t calculate the problem.
• I asked my doctor for something to help with my constipation: He gave me a list of dad jokes.
• My colonoscopy was so uneventful, the doctor gave me a participation trophy.
• I tried to make a laxative-themed energy drink, but it just didn’t sit right with people.
• What do you call a constipated superhero? Blocked-Man! Fighting for truth, justice, and regular bowel movements.
• I told my wife I was writing constipation jokes, she said, “That’s a load of…”
• My new laxative is called “Procrastination”: Because I’m putting off taking it until tomorrow.
• Image Macro: A picture of a person straining on the toilet with the caption: “Me trying to meet a deadline at work.”
• I tried to write a song about constipation: but it just wouldn’t flow.
• Why did the constipated accountant quit his job? He couldn’t handle the numbers anymore.
• My constipation is like my dating life: A lot of build-up, but nothing ever comes out.
• Why did the constipated detective get a bad reputation: He was always working on a case.
• What do you call a constipated pirate? Block-beard.

Constipation Puns: Are They Full of Crap?

Are constipation puns full of crap? Well, that depends on your sense of humor! Some find them a gut-busting relief, others think they’re just straining too hard. Ultimately, the effectiveness of a constipation pun boils down to delivery. If it flows smoothly, it might just be the perfect remedy for…

• I tried to start a support group for constipated people, but we never got it off the ground.
• What do you call a constipated pirate? Block-beard.
• My doctor told me to eat more fiber. Now I’m full of crap… literally.
• I’m writing a self-help book for constipated people. It’s going to be a real struggle to get it out there.
• What do you call a constipated superhero? Blocked-Man! Fighting for truth, justice, and regular bowel movements.
• I just invented a new laxative. It’s called “Procrastination”. You’ll put it off until tomorrow.
• I’m trying to make a constipation-themed amusement park, but it has been slow to get off the ground.
• I tried to unclog my toilet with a motivational speech, but it just wouldn’t listen.
• Why did the constipated mathematician get a time out? He couldn’t calculate the problem.
• What do you call a constipated architect? Unable to design anything that flows.
• Image Macro: A picture of a parking meter that says “Expired” with the caption: “My intestines.”
• Image Macro: A picture of a dam with the caption: “My bowels.”
• Image Macro: A picture of a traffic jam with the caption: “My intestines.”
• I asked my wife for a divorce, but she just said “I’m not sure I can let you go.”
• You could say my relationship with my bowels is a bit strained.

Bathroom Humor: Where Do Constipation Jokes Fit In?

Constipation jokes sit squarely within the realm of bathroom humor, relying on the universally relatable, albeit uncomfortable, experience of being “backed up.” They tap into our anxieties about bodily functions gone awry, often using wordplay and euphemisms to soften the blow of a potentially gross topic. Ultimately, they offer a…

• I tried to make a joke about being constipated, but it wouldn’t come out right.
• My constipation is like a magician’s act: a lot of build-up, but nothing actually happens.
• What do you call a constipated fortune teller: A mystic with a blockage.
• Image Macro: A picture of a turtle with the caption: “My bowels moving at the speed of light.”
• My constipation is a metaphor for my life: full of potential, but currently stuck.
• I finally passed a stool after days of constipation. It was a real…release of pent-up frustration.
• Why did the constipated ghost get fired? He was always haunting the porcelain throne!
• Image Macro: A picture of a person looking forlornly at a toilet with the caption: “When you’re constipated and Google starts suggesting laxative ads.”
• What does a constipated ghost say? “I can’t get no re-relief-action!”
• My constipation is like a choose-your-own-adventure book where every path leads to the same dead end.
• I tried to explain my constipation with a haiku, but the third line was too… short.
• My constipation is a personal challenge to see how long I can hold it in.
• What do you call a constipated superhero? A blocked hero.
• Why did the constipated pirate get a divorce? He needed a new treasure to plunder.
• Image Macro: A picture of a mountain that is plugged with a cork, captioned: “My bowels, after eating dairy”.

Constipation Jokes for Kids: Keeping it Age-Appropriate

Navigating potty humor with kids? Constipation jokes can be surprisingly giggle-inducing! The key is keeping it age-appropriate. Think silly situations and relatable struggles, not medical details or discomfort. Focus on funny outcomes and wordplay, like puns about “holding things in,” to deliver laughs without making anyone uncomfortable.

• Why did the teddy bear bring a map to the toilet: He thought he was going on a potty expedition!
• My tummy is like a traffic jam: Nothing’s moving!
• What did the grape say when someone stepped on him: Nothing, he just let out a little whine!
• I tried to make a chocolate laxative-themed cake: It ended up tasting crumby.
• Why did the poop go to school: To get smarter about going number two!
• My colonoscopy was so uneventful, the doctor gave me a participation trophy.
• I went to a constipation-themed party: Nobody could move!
• What do you call a constipated fairy: Blocked-erella!
• My intestines are staging a hostile takeover: Apparently, they didn’t like the previous management.
• My tummy feels like a balloon animal about to burst: Squeak, squeak, pop!
• What’s a constipated ghost’s favorite food? I scream!
• I have a great joke about constipation, but it’s stuck.
• My internal organs are having a meeting, but they can’t reach a consensus… literally.
• Why did the constipated mathematician get a time-out: He couldn’t calculate!
• My doctor told me to eat more fiber, now my stomach is a balloon animal waiting to explode.

Constipation Jokes: The Science Behind the Funny

Why are constipation jokes so appealing? Beyond the potty humor, there’s a scientific reason! Our guts are fascinatingly complex, and a little discomfort there is universally relatable. The release of tension, both literal and comedic, is what makes these jokes surprisingly effective. Plus, a good poop pun? Irresistible!

• My therapist asked why I only tell constipation jokes: I said it’s because I can’t seem to let them go.
• I tried to write a self-help book for constipated people: The hardest part was getting it out there.
• Why did the constipated mathematician bring a pencil to the bathroom: He wanted to work out his problems.
• My bowels are having a midlife crisis: They refuse to commit to anything.
• If you’re feeling constipated, just remember: What goes up, must come down… eventually.
• Image Macro: A picture of a very long line of people waiting outside a porta potty, captioned: “The ultimate test of patience.”
• I tried to tell a joke about explosive diarrhea, but the delivery was all wrong. It just didn’t come out right.
• My doctor said I need to eat more fiber. I said, “But doctor, I’m already full of it!”
• Why did the constipated ghost get fired from his job? He couldn’t deliver the spirits on time!
• I tried to start a support group for people with constipation, but it was slow to take off. We had trouble getting things moving.
• I told my wife I was going to name our first child Colon. She said, “No way! Period.”
• My attempt at a constipation themed art exhibit ended with me just calling it a load of crap.
• What’s a constipated vampire’s favorite food? I scream!
• Image Macro: A picture of a clogged drain with a single, defiant sprout growing out of it, captioned: “Hope remains.”
• My horoscope said I’d have a breakthrough today: I’m taking my laxatives now, just in case.

Constipation Jokes: Online vs. Real-Life Delivery

Constipation jokes? A tricky business! Online, a well-timed pun can land perfectly. But in real life, delivery is key. Facial expressions, a knowing glance – these amplify the humor (or awkwardness!). Timing is everything; a delayed reaction kills the punchline faster than… well, you get the idea.

• My doctor recommended I take a break from social media and have a bowel movement. I’m still working on the latter.
• Just started a new workout routine: It’s designed to get things moving… literally.
• My therapist told me to embrace my constipation. Now I’m just sitting here, trying to be one with the blockage.
• I thought I saw a light at the end of the tunnel, turns out it was just gas.
• My IBS is like a surprise party for my colon… and nobody likes surprise parties.
• My therapist suggested that I try to visualize the solution to my problems: I’m working on it, but nothing is coming to me.
• I’m writing a self-help book on constipation. Chapter one: “Don’t give up.”
• My bowels are having a midlife crisis: They refuse to commit to anything.
• I tried to make a colon-themed board game, but nobody wanted to play. Said it was too… backed up.
• I tried to use a laxative to lose weight: Now I’m just lighter on self-respect and heavier on regret.
• I’m starting a constipation-themed dating app. It’s called “Blocked.”
• I tried to donate my colon to science, but they said it was too “backed up”.
• Image Macro: A picture of a long, winding road with a sign that says “My digestive system.”
• I’m so backed up, I’m starting to wonder if I’m a hoarder of… well, you know.
• My therapist suggested that I keep my colon and my problems separate. I now have a colon-oscopy due in 15 minutes.

Constipation Puns: A Global Perspective on Toilet Humor

“Constipation Puns: A Global Perspective on Toilet Humor” explores how different cultures find humor in the universal experience of being backed up. From cheeky wordplay to relatable anecdotes, the book examines how language shapes our comedic take on this uncomfortable subject. Prepare for some side-splitting (but not painful!) laughs as…

• I’m writing a book about constipation, but I’m having trouble getting it out there:
• A man’s constipation was so bad, you could hear him straining from three blocks away. He’s now known as the “Town Crier”.
• Image Macro: A picture of a garden gnome with a constipated expression, captioned: “When you’re lawn but not moving.”
• My new band is called “The Blocked Bowels”: We’re struggling to gain momentum.
• Why did the constipated chef get fired? He couldn’t produce the goods.
• I tried to make a constipation joke for my therapist, but I couldn’t get it out… he gave me a referral to a gastroenterologist.
• Image Macro: A picture of a turtle stuck in a pipe, captioned: “My digestive system this morning.”
• My therapist said I need to focus on releasing my emotions: Now I’m just worried about the splashback.
• I thought about writing a constipation joke, but I decided to let it simmer for a while.
• What do you call a constipated judge? A blocked justice.
• My therapist told me to visualize success: Now I’m just staring at a bottle of laxatives.
• I just invented a new sport: It’s called “Constipation Olympics.” The goal is to see who can hold it in the longest. It’s not very popular, but it’s a real test of endurance.
• I’m starting a new religion based on bowel movements: We’ll call it Constipationism. It’s going to be very hard to get things flowing.
• My wife’s constipation is so bad, she’s started referring to her stomach as “The Bermuda Triangle”.
• Image Macro: A drawing of a man in a bathtub with the caption: “The only safe space where I can relax and wait for things to pass.”