150 Best Christmas Jokes and Puns So Funny They’ll Make You Ho Ho Hold Your Sides

Ready to sleigh the holiday blues with laughter? Forget the fruitcake, because we’ve got a gift that’s guaranteed to spread cheer: a sleigh-load of Christmas jokes and puns! Get ready to jingle your bells with these festive funnies.

Whether you’re looking to spice up your Christmas dinner conversation or need some knee-slappers for your office party, we’ve got you covered. Prepare for some seriously punny moments that will have everyone ho-ho-ho-ing.

From elf-arious antics to reindeer riddles, our collection of Christmas jokes and puns is designed to bring a smile to every face. So, grab a cup of cocoa and get ready to laugh your way through the holidays!

Best Christmas Jokes and Puns So Funny They’ll Make You Ho Ho Hold Your Sides

• What do you call an elf who sings? A wrapper!
• I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.
• Why did Santa get a parking ticket on Christmas Eve? He left his sleigh in a snow parking zone.
• I bought my friend an advent calendar, but he was too impatient to wait. He opened all the doors at once. He was having a meltdown.
• What’s a Christmas tree’s favorite candy? Orna-mints.
• My Christmas diet is going great. I’ve eaten everything in sight.
• I tried to catch fog yesterday. Mist.
• I was going to tell a joke about a broken pencil, but it’s pointless.
• Why do reindeer like bad jokes? Because they are all a bunch of puns-deer.
• What do you call a grumpy Christmas decoration? An ornamental pain.
• What do you get if you cross a vampire with a snowman? Frostbite.
• I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down.
• A gingerbread man walks into a bar. The bartender says, “We don’t serve your kind here.” The gingerbread man replies, “Oh, that’s okay, I’m just looking for a place to get crummy.”
• I told my therapist I was feeling down at Christmas. She said, “Well, at least you have good taste in floors.”
• What’s the difference between Santa and a knight? One sleighs the night, the other slays the knight.

Christmas Cracker Jokes: A Festive Explosion of Laughter

Christmas cracker jokes – the groan-worthy, yet undeniably festive, heart of holiday humor! They’re the quintessential punchlines we secretly love to hate, a burst of predictable puns and silly scenarios that somehow amplify the Christmas cheer. These tiny slips of paper hold the power to unite families in laughter (or…

• What do snowmen call their parents: Chill-dren
• I’m not sure what to get my wife for Christmas. She said she wants something sparkly. I guess I’ll get her some glitter glue and a vacuum cleaner.
• Why are Christmas trees bad knitters: They always drop their needles
• What do you call a lazy kangaroo: Pouch potato
• My uncle always falls asleep after Christmas dinner. I guess you could say he’s in a food coma-tose
• I tried to make a gingerbread house but it crumbled under pressure. I guess it wasn’t built to last.
• What did the ornament say to the other ornament: Don’t get hung up on things.
• What do you get if you cross a Christmas tree with a computer: A pine-ter net
• I was going to buy a Christmas present for the person who invented the door knocker, but I thought I’d give them a ring instead
• Why don’t eggs tell jokes: They’d crack each other up.
• I’m afraid of calendars, their days are numbered.
• What do you call a snowman in July: A puddle.
• What’s a pirates favorite Christmas carol: Deck the halls with skulls and jolly
• My boss told me to have a good day… so I went home
• What do you call a fish with no eyes: Fsh

The Best Christmas Puns: Guaranteed to Sleigh Your Audience

Looking for some festive laughs? “The Best Christmas Puns: Guaranteed to Sleigh Your Audience” is your go-to guide for holiday humor! Packed with witty wordplay and jolly jokes, this collection ensures your Christmas gatherings are filled with chuckles. From “sleigh-ing” it to “tree-mendous” puns, get ready to spread cheer and…

• I’m feeling quite festive, I’ve got my tinsel-itis.
• What do you call a dog who helps Santa? A Santa Paws.
• I saw a sign that said “Santa’s workshop is open”, I thought, “That’s a bold statement considering it’s December.”
• Why did the Christmas lights get bad grades? They weren’t very bright.
• I’m not saying I’m addicted to Christmas, but my house is starting to look like it threw up tinsel.
• What do you call a scary snowman? A frost-fright.
• My grandma said she wants a hug for Christmas, so I’m sending her a blanket.
• What do you get when you drop a Christmas tree? A pine-needle problem.
• I tried to make a Christmas themed playlist, but it was all just a bit too carol-ing.
• What’s a reindeer’s favorite game? Stable tennis.
• Why was the gingerbread man so popular? Because he was a real cookie.
• I told my kids to behave, or Santa will bring them a lump of coal. Now they want to start a coal collection.
• What do you call a snowman that tells tall tales? A snow-lie-er.
• My neighbor’s Christmas decorations are so bright, I need to wear shades when I walk past. He’s really lighting up the neighborhood.
• I went to a Christmas party dressed as a present, I was hoping to get unwrapped.

Santa Jokes: Ho Ho Hold on to Your Hats

Looking for some festive chuckles this Christmas? “Santa Jokes: Ho Ho Hold on to Your Hats” is your go-to guide! Packed with silly Santa-themed jokes and puns, it’s perfect for sharing around the holiday table. Get ready for some groan-worthy dad jokes and witty one-liners that will keep everyone laughing…

• What do you call Santa when he’s taking a break: Santa Pause.
• Santa’s been working out; he’s got a real sleigh-bod now.
• I asked Santa for a bike for Christmas, but he said, “You’re too old to ride around on me.”
• Why did Santa get a parking ticket on Christmas? He left his sleigh in a no-reindeer zone.
• Santa was in a terrible mood; he was having a real Claus-traphobic day.
• Santa’s favorite subject in school? Chimney-stry.
• I saw Santa at the grocery store; he was buying holiday spritzer.
• Why did Santa go to therapy? He had too many presents-al issues.
• What did Santa say when he found out about the bad weather? “Looks like I’m in for a flurry!”
• Santa is terrible at poker; he always gives away his hand.
• Santa is such a good singer; he always hits the high notes in ‘Ho Ho Ho’.
• My dog keeps barking at the Christmas tree; I think he’s trying to get Santa’s attention.
• I told Santa I wanted a new phone for Christmas; he said, “You’re on the naughty list, so you’re getting a landline.”
• Santa’s favorite pizza topping? Reindeer sausage.
• Santa’s new diet is going great; he’s only eating cookies and milk.

Reindeer Jokes and Puns: Flying High With Humor

Looking for some festive laughs? “Reindeer Jokes and Puns: Flying High With Humor” is your sleigh ride to holiday hilarity! This collection, a star in the “Christmas Jokes and Puns” constellation, delivers groan-worthy puns and silly scenarios starring everyone’s favorite antlered helpers. Get ready for reindeer-related rib-ticklers that’ll have you…

• Why did the reindeer get a bad grade in school: He kept deer-ailing the class.
• What do you call a reindeer with no eyes: No-eye-deer.
• I tried to teach my reindeer to play chess, but he always made the same move: He’d just go on a reindeer-rampage.
• What did the reindeer say after he got a flat tire: I’m feeling a little de-flated.
• Why was the reindeer so bad at poker: He always had a poker face, or should I say, a reindeer face.
• What kind of coffee do reindeer drink: Deer-caf.
• My reindeer keeps losing his antlers, it’s really quite un-deer-able.
• What’s a reindeer’s favorite type of music: Anything with a good beat, he loves to hoof it up.
• Why did the reindeer cross the playground: To get to the other slide.
• How do reindeer stay in shape: They do lots of deer-obics.
• What do you call a reindeer who’s a really good dancer: A prancer-pants.
• I saw a reindeer wearing a tiny hat; he looked quite dapper, but a little deer-ranged.
• What’s a reindeer’s favorite snack: Reindeer-drops.
• I tried to teach my reindeer to knit, but he kept dropping his purls; he’s just not a natural yarn-deer.
• Why did the reindeer get a promotion: He was always outstanding in his field.

Christmas Tree Jokes: Branching Out Into Comedy

Looking for a laugh this holiday? Dive into the world of “Christmas Tree Jokes: Branching Out Into Comedy”! These aren’t your average holiday puns; they’re specifically tailored to the evergreen star of the season. From fir-arious quips to pine-tastic punchlines, get ready to spruce up your Christmas with some tree-mendous…

• Why did the Christmas tree go to the doctor: It was feeling a little pine-ful.
• I tried to write a song about Christmas trees, but it was too sappy.
• What’s a Christmas tree’s favorite drink: Spruce juice.
• My Christmas tree is so good at hide-and-seek, I can’t find it. Maybe it’s just fir-gotten where it was.
• Why was the Christmas tree so bad at poker: It had too many branches.
• I saw a Christmas tree on the internet, it had a really good root.
• What do you call a Christmas tree that can’t stop talking: A blabbering fir.
• My Christmas tree always looks a little green around the gills; I think it’s tree-mendous.
• What do you call a Christmas tree that’s always on time: A punctual pine.
• I told my Christmas tree it looked great; it said, “You’re just trying to get to my good side.”
• Why did the Christmas tree get a promotion: It was outstanding in its field. Again.
• My Christmas tree is so dramatic, it always throws a big shade.
• What’s a Christmas tree’s favorite type of math: Tree-gonometry.
• I asked my Christmas tree if it needed anything; it said “Just a little more branch support.”
• Why did the Christmas tree get a time-out: It was being too knotty.

Elf Jokes: Mischief and Merriment This Christmas

Looking for a giggle this Christmas? Dive into “Elf Jokes: Mischief and Merriment!” This collection of Christmas jokes and puns focuses on those pointy-eared helpers, bringing a sprinkle of silly magic to the season. Expect playful pranks, punny presents, and elf-sized laughs that’ll have everyone feeling jolly. It’s the perfect…

• Why did the elf get fired from the calendar factory: He kept taking days off.
• What do you call an elf who’s a great detective: Sherlock Holmes-elf.
• I tried to teach an elf to play hide-and-seek, but he was always elf-conscious about being found.
• An elf walks into a library and asks for books about paranoia. The librarian whispers, “They’re right behind you!”
• What do elves use to take pictures: Elfies.
• Why did the elf bring a ladder to the bar: He heard the drinks were on the house.
• My elf is so bad at wrapping presents, he’s got a real gift for making it look worse.
• What’s an elf’s favorite type of shoe: Loafers.
• I asked an elf if he knew any good jokes, he said he had a few up his sleeve.
• What do you call an elf that can sing really high: A soprano-elf.
• Why did the elf get a new job at the bakery: He was good at making dough-re-mi.
• An elf tried to start a band, but they kept losing their rhythm; they were a bit elf-ish.
• What did the elf say when he fell into a pile of leaves: I’m feeling quite a-leaf.
• Why did the elf get lost in the forest: He had no elf-direction.
• My elf is so good at making toys, he’s got a real knack for it, he’s toy-riffic.

Christmas Dinner Puns: A Feast of Funny

Looking for some festive fun? “Christmas Dinner Puns: A Feast of Funny” is your golden ticket! This collection serves up hilarious wordplay centered around everyone’s favorite holiday meal. From turkey-themed zingers to gravy-good giggles, it’s the perfect side dish to your holiday cheer, guaranteed to get everyone at the table…

• I tried to make a Christmas pudding, but it was a bit of a plum-met.
• My family always argues over the last piece of turkey; it’s a real fowl situation.
• The gravy was so good this year, I’m feeling very saucy.
• I asked my uncle if he wanted more stuffing; he said, “I’m already packed!”
• My aunt brought a dish with brussel sprouts; it was a bit of a sprouter-geist.
• The cranberry sauce was a little tart; it was a real berry-ing experience.
• I made a mashed potato mountain; it was a real peak experience.
• I told my dad to relax; he said, “I’m already gravy-tating towards the couch.”
• The dinner rolls were so fluffy; they were just butter-ly amazing.
• My sister tried to make a yule log; it was a bit of a log-jam.
• We had so much food, it was a real feast-ivity.
• My brother kept asking for seconds; he has a very large appetite-tude.
• The wine was so smooth, it was grape-tastic.
• My mom’s cooking was so good, it was a real holiday ham-per.
• I think I overate, I’m in a bit of a food comma-nd.

Holiday Jokes for Kids: Spreading Christmas Cheer

Looking for some giggles this Christmas? “Holiday Jokes for Kids” is your secret weapon! Bursting with kid-friendly puns and silly scenarios, it’s the perfect way to spread Christmas cheer. From reindeer riddles to elf-centric laughs, this collection guarantees smiles and lighthearted fun for the whole family. Get ready for some…

• What do you call a snowman with a tan: A toasted marshmallow.
• Why was the ornament so good at telling stories: It had a lot of hanging around experience.
• My Christmas lights are having a competition; they’re trying to outshine each other.
• What do you call a dog who loves Christmas: A merry mutt.
• I tried to make a gingerbread man, but he ran away before I could decorate him; he was a real cookie-cutter.
• What’s a snowman’s favorite breakfast: Ice Krispies.
• Why did the elf become a gardener: He had a green thumb-elf.
• My family tried to sing carols, but we were all a bit out of tune; it was a real carol-astrophe.
• What do you call a reindeer who loves to read: A book-deer.
• I saw a Christmas tree wearing a scarf; it was looking very stylish and fir-bulous.
• Why did the gingerbread man go to the doctor: He was feeling a little crumbly.
• My Christmas presents are all wrapped, but I can’t remember what’s inside; it’s a real present mystery.
• What do you call a snowman who’s always happy: A jolly-good fellow.
• I tried to make a snow angel, but I fell over; it was a real snow-fail.
• Why did the elf go to school: To get a little elf-ucation.