150 Best Drunk Texting Jokes The Ultimate Guide to Hilarious Late Night Fails

Ever woken up with a phone full of regret? We’ve all been there! Get ready to laugh (and maybe cringe a little) as we dive headfirst into the hilarious world of drunk texting jokes and puns.

From autocorrect fails to rambling confessions, the possibilities are endless. Prepare yourself for a giggle-inducing collection of wordplay that perfectly captures the awkwardness and absurdity of those late-night, alcohol-fueled messages.

Ready to embrace the humor? Let’s explore the lighter side of tipsy texting with these side-splitting jokes!

Best Drunk Texting Jokes The Ultimate Guide to Hilarious Late Night Fails

• I told my phone I needed a break from drunk texts. Now it’s dry texting me in protest.
• Drunk texting is my superpower. I can turn a simple “Hi” into a 12-paragraph apology for something I didn’t even do.
• Why did the drunk text cross the road? To get to the “send” button one last time.
• I’m not saying I drunk texted, but I think I just offered my ex’s cat a job.
• My therapist told me to express my feelings. So, I drunk texted all 7 billion people on Earth my deepest insecurities. Progress!
• Relationship status: Currently accepting applications for someone to intercept my drunk texts.
• I tried to sober up before texting, but I accidentally hit “send” with my nose. Guess that’s my new signature.
• Drunk texts are like accidental art. You didn’t intend to create it, but now it exists and you have to live with it.
• I’m pretty sure my phone is judging my drunk texts more harshly than my actual friends are.
• My drunk texts are so bad, they qualify as a horror movie script.
• My bank account statement looks less scary than my drunk text history.
• I accidentally invented a new language last night, thanks to drunk texting. I call it “Slurred Emojis.”
• Drunk texting is just unfiltered honesty delivered with questionable grammar.
• I’m starting a support group for people who regret every text sent after 9 PM. It’s called “Text-Holes Anonymous.”
• Warning: May spontaneously compose Shakespearean sonnets while intoxicated. Side effects include but are not limited to: existential dread and unanswered texts.

Drunk Texting Jokes: The Morning After Regret

We’ve all been there: the morning after a night out, phone in hand, bracing ourselves for the damage. Drunk texts, those blurry missives fueled by liquid courage, are a comedic goldmine! From autocorrect fails to declarations of undying love for pizza, these jokes tap into the universal experience of post-party…

• I tried to drunk text my crush a Shakespearean sonnet. It came out as a grocery list with excessive exclamation points.
• Drunk texts: The digital equivalent of a smoky, regret-filled karaoke performance.
• Meant to text “I think you’re great.” Autocorrect changed it to “I think you’re pregnant.” Send help (and a baby name book).
• I’m not saying I drunk texted, but I think I just offered my ex’s goldfish a job.
• Drunk texts: Proof that my brain has a better sense of humor when sober.
• Tried to sext, ended up sending a blurry picture of my ceiling fan.
• My phone autocorrected “I miss you” to “I kissed you.” I’m now wanted for assault.
• Drunk texting is like skydiving without a parachute: a thrilling freefall followed by a hard landing of embarrassment.
• Drunk texts: Where my inner thoughts become outer disasters.
• Image Macro: A picture of a phone with a cracked screen, captioned: “My dignity after a night of drunk texting.”
• Tried to drunk text my ex a heartfelt apology. Ended up sending a string of random emojis that vaguely resembled a potato.
• Drunk texts: The reason I wake up every morning with a sense of impending doom and a need to delete my entire contact list.
• Sent my crush a text saying “I love you”. Autocorrect changed it to “I live in a zoo.” I guess I’m just wild about you.
• Drunk texts: A black hole of regret from which no coherent thought can escape.
• Accidentally drunk texted my boss “I quit!” I don’t have a job anymore, but at least I have a good story for the unemployment office.

Hilarious Drunk Text Puns: Wordplay Gone Wrong

Ever sent a text after a few too many and regretted it immediately? Drunk texting puns are the epitome of wordplay gone delightfully wrong! They’re a hilarious peek into our inebriated minds, where logic takes a backseat to silly rhymes and questionable grammar. Prepare to cringe, laugh, and maybe even…

• Meant to text “Sweet Dreams”, autocorrect changed it to “Sweet Deems.” Now my crush thinks I’m a drug dealer.
• Drunk texted my boss asking for a raise, included a GIF of a dancing banana. I’m now head of the fruit break committee.
• I tried to send a philosophical drunk text: “Are we the universe experiencing itself?” It autocorrected to, “Are we the unicorn experiencing elf?”
• “I’m not drunk, I’m just chemically altered and emotionally available.”
• Meant to text my mom “I love you,” but autocorrect changed it to “I lava you.” Now she thinks I’m proposing with a volcano.
• Drunk texts: Where autocorrect becomes your worst enema.
• I accidentally drunk texted my ex, “I miss you.” Then quickly followed it up with, “Just kidding, my cat stepped on my phone.” The cat now has commitment issues.
• “I’m not saying I’m drunk texting, but I just offered my Uber driver a job as my personal chef.”
• Meant to text my date “I’m so excited to see you tonight!” Autocorrect: “I’m so excited to seize you tonight!”
• Image Macro: A phone with a cracked screen and a text message bubble that reads: “Send help…and pizza.”
• I tried to flirt with a girl by texting her a science joke. I said, “Are you made of copper and tellurium?” Autocorrect changed it to, “Are you made of cucumber and delirium?”
• Drunk texts: Proof that my phone knows more about my subconscious desires than I do.
• Me: “I’m on my way!” Autocorrect: “I’m on my walrus!”
• I tried to send a sexy pic, but I accidentally sent a photo of my ceiling fan. Now my crush thinks I’m obsessed with ventilation.
• Meant to text my crush “Hope you’re having a good day!” Autocorrect: “Hope you’re having a good dye!”

Drunk Texting Fails: When Autocorrect Attacks

We’ve all been there, haven’t we? A few drinks in, confidence soars, and fingers start flying across the keyboard. But beware the dreaded drunk text! Autocorrect, that supposed helper, becomes your worst enemy, turning heartfelt confessions into hilarious gibberish. Get ready for a laugh riot with tales of autocorrect gone…

• Meant to text my boss “I’m feeling better, be in tomorrow” Autocorrect: “I’m feeling butter, be in tomato.”
• Drunk texted my ex “I miss your face,” Autocorrect: “I miss your farts.”
• My drunk text to my boss “I need a raise” turned into “I need a race”.
• Sent my crush “I think you’re hot”, Autocorrect: “I think you’re a thot.”
• Me attempting to drunk text my crush: “I like the way you smile,” Autocorrect: “I like the way you smell.”
• My drunk text to my mom “I love you” turned into “I lava you,” accompanied by a volcano emoji.
• Meant to text my date “Looking forward to seeing you tonight!” Autocorrect: “Looking forward to seizing you tonight!”
• Sent my crush a text saying “I think you’re great”. Autocorrect changed it to “I think you’re pregnant.”
• My therapist said, “I have to learn to love myself.” Autocorrect changed it to, “I have to learn to loathe myself.”
• Me texting my friend: “I need a drink.” Autocorrect: “I need a dink”.
• I tried to send a flirty text to my crush, but Siri dictated it as gibberish. Now my date thinks I’m speaking in tongues.
• Me trying to text my date: “I’m excited to see you tonight!” Autocorrect: “I’m excited to seize you tonight!”
• Me texting my boss: “I’m working from home today because I’m sick.” Autocorrect says “I’m working from gnome today because I’m slick.”
• I meant to text, “Hope you’re having a good day!” But autocorrect changed it to, “Hope you’re having a good dye!”
• Meant to text “Thinking of you.” Autocorrect: “Drinking of you.”

Drunk Texting Jokes About Exes: A Risky Reconnect

We’ve all been there: a few drinks in, and suddenly your ex seems hilarious (and maybe attainable?). Drunk texting jokes about exes walk a fine line between funny and disastrous. This collection explores that blurry space, offering witty observations on the perils of late-night confessions and the regret that follows….

• I tried to drunk text my ex an apology for the breakup, but my phone autocorrected “I’m sorry” to “I’m horny”.
• Drunk texted my ex, “I still think about you.” Autocorrected to “I still stink about you.” Nailed it.
• Drunk texted my ex, “Let’s get back together.” Followed immediately by, “Just kidding, it was my cat.” The cat is now single.
• Drunk texted my ex, “I miss you more than pizza.” I then woke up in a cold sweat, realizing what I had done.
• Drunk texted my ex, “I’ve changed.” I woke up to find I’d changed my Netflix password to “ExFreeZone.”
• I drunk texted my ex: “You were the best mistake I ever made.” Autocorrect changed mistake to steak.
• My therapist told me to stop drunk texting my ex. I tried, but then my thumbs developed a mind of their own. I blame the opposable digits.
• Drunk texting my ex is like playing Russian roulette with my self-respect.
• Drunk texted my ex, “Do you ever think about us?” Their reply: “Who is this?”
• I tried to drunk text my ex a heartfelt sonnet, but it ended up being a grocery list with excessive exclamation points.
• I drunk texted my ex “I’m over you!” Then I woke up to find I had Venmoed them all my savings with the caption, “For your troubles.”
• Drunk texting my ex: A black hole of regret from which no coherent thought can escape.
• Image Macro: A picture of a phone with a cracked screen and a single, unopened message bubble, captioned: “Drunk text to my ex: Delivered.”
• Seeking: someone who will confiscate my phone after two glasses of wine to prevent drunk texting my ex. Must have a strong grip.
• My ex said I was overreacting about her cheating. I said, “That’s just what a cheater would text!”

Drunk Text Puns for Friends: Humorous Hangover Help

Navigating the treacherous waters of drunk texting? “Drunk Text Puns for Friends: Humorous Hangover Help” is your life raft! Dive into a collection of silly puns to poke fun at those regrettable late-night messages. It’s the perfect way to lighten the mood, offer some laughs, and maybe even apologize with…

• Meant to text “I’m free tonight ;)” Autocorrected to “I’m tree tonight ;)” Guess I’ll be hanging out in the forest.
• Drunk texting is like a surprise party your brain throws for your ex at 3 AM.
• I’m not saying I drunk texted, but I just offered my ex’s goldfish a job as my emotional support animal.
• Relationship status: Successfully prevented myself from drunk texting my ex last night. It was a close call; the pizza almost didn’t distract me enough.
• Drunk texts: A modern-day Shakespearean tragedy, written in emojis and regret.
• Tried to drunk text my crush a heartfelt sonnet, but it ended up being a grocery list with excessive exclamation points.
• Drunk texts: Proof that my thumbs have a mind of their own and a deep-seated desire to sabotage my love life.
• I meant to text my boss, “I’m working from home.” Autocorrect: “I’m worshiping a gnome.”
• Drunk texting is like playing Russian roulette with my self-respect.
• Me: “I’m not drunk!” My phone: *displays a series of gibberish texts sent at 2 AM*
• Relationship status: Just survived another night of drunk texting. Next up, damage control.
• I tried to send a sexy pic, but I accidentally sent a photo of my ceiling fan. Now my crush thinks I’m obsessed with ventilation.
• Drunk texts are like accidental art: You didn’t intend to create it, but now it exists, and you have to live with it.
• Me texting my friend: “I need a drink.” Autocorrect: “I need a dink.”
• I sent a drunk text to my ex that simply said “avocado.” I still don’t know what it meant.

Drunk Texting Jokes: The Art of the Unsent Message

Drunk texting: a modern art form where logic takes a holiday and autocorrect becomes your worst enemy. Our collection, “Drunk Texting Jokes and Puns,” celebrates this hilarious phenomenon. We explore the unsent messages, the regret-filled mornings, and the sheer absurdity of attempting coherent communication under the influence. Get ready to…

• I meant to text my boss, “I’m taking a sick day.” Autocorrect turned it into, “I’m faking a kick day.” Now he thinks I’m a karate master playing hooky.
• Why did the drunk text get a speeding ticket: It was driving under the influence of autocorrect!
• Drunk texting is like a surprise party your brain throws for your ex at 3 AM, but nobody actually wants to be there.
• I tried to drunk text my crush a heartfelt declaration of love, but all they got was a string of random emojis and a picture of my ceiling fan.
• Relationship status: My phone and I are in a committed relationship where I drunk text it every night and it judges me silently.
• I accidentally drunk texted my therapist, “I think I’m falling for you!” Now I have to find a new therapist and a new identity.
• Drunk texting is like a magic trick: you think you’re sending a coherent message, but the recipient sees something completely different.
• My drunk texts are like a Rorschach test for my friends: they see whatever they want to see in the nonsensical ramblings.
• I meant to drunk text my ex, “I’m over you!” But autocorrect turned it into, “I’m over yonder!” Guess I’m moving to a different state now.
• I tried to drunk text my mom a sweet message, but it came out as “Mom, I appreciate you, but autocorrect hates you!”
• I accidentally drunk texted my professor a detailed analysis of my favorite reality TV show. Now I’m expecting a pop quiz on the Real Housewives.
• I tried to drunk text my boss a request for a raise, but all they got was a picture of a dancing banana and the word “Banana.”
• I drunk texted my ex, “I still think about you.” I woke up to a text asking, “Who is this?” Followed by a selfie of a random person.
• I accidentally drunk texted my grandma, “I’m feeling naughty.” Now she thinks I’m joining a convent.
• Image Macro: A picture of a phone about to fall into a toilet. Caption: “The hardest decision you’ll make all night.”

Drunk Texting Fails in Relationships: Navigating the Aftermath

So, you’ve unleashed your inner Shakespeare (gone sideways) via drunk text. Oops! Now what? We’ve all been there, sending blurry messages and regrettable rhymes. This isn’t just fodder for jokes; it can sting relationships. Own up, apologize sincerely (sober!), and use humor to diffuse the tension, not deflect responsibility. Learn…

• I tried to drunk text my date a cool poem, but all that was sent was a photo of my cat’s feet.
• Relationship status: I tried to send a sexy pic, but I accidentally sent my mom a photo of my dirty feet.
• Me trying to be smooth via text: I think you’re great: Autocorrect: I think you’re pregnant.
• I drunk texted my ex, “I’ve changed.” I woke up to find I’d changed my Netflix password to “ExFreeZone.”
• Me texting my crush: “Hope you’re having a good day!” Autocorrect: “Hope you’re having a good dye!”
• I’m not saying I drunk texted, but I think I just offered my ex’s goldfish a job as my emotional support animal.
• Drunk texted my therapist: “I think I’m falling for you!” Now I need to find a new therapist.
• Meant to text “Sweet Dreams”, autocorrect changed it to “Sweet Deems.” Now my crush thinks I’m a drug dealer.
• I accidentally sent my boss a text meant for my date: “Can’t wait to see you tonight! Wear that thing I like.” Monday is going to be awkward.
• I tried to drunk text my boss a request for a raise, but all they got was a picture of a dancing banana and the word “Banana.”
• Sent my crush a text saying “I think you’re hot”, Autocorrect: “I think you’re a thot.”
• I texted my crush “I’m a good person”. Autocorrect changed it to “I’m a good poison.”
• I tried to text my date “I’m so excited to see you!” Autocorrect changed it to “I’m so excited to seize you!”
• Meant to text “I’m free tonight ;)” Autocorrected to “I’m tree tonight ;)” Guess I’ll be hanging out in the forest.
• I meant to send a flirty text, but Siri dictated it as gibberish. Now my date thinks I’m speaking in tongues.

Drunk Text Puns: Alcohol-Inspired Anagrams

Ever mixed booze with wordplay? Drunk Text Puns: Alcohol-Inspired Anagrams is your guide to tipsy-typed hilarity. We’re talking scrambled words fueled by liquid courage, turning “tequila” into something truly absurd after a few too many. Prepare for a laugh riot of anagrams, where sobriety is optional and spelling is a…

• I tried to send my crush a flirty pic, but it came out blurry. Guess you could say my intentions were a little… hazy.
• Meant to text my boss “I’m working from home today because I’m sick,” but autocorrect changed it to “I’m worshiping a gnome today because I’m slick.”
• I texted my date “I’m so excited to see you tonight!” Autocorrect: “I’m so excited to seize you tonight!” I hope they have a sense of humor… and a lawyer.
• My phone just asked me if I needed to enable dark mode to cope with my dark thoughts.
• Drunk texting: The digital equivalent of a smoky, regret-filled karaoke performance.
• I was trying to sext, but autocorrect changed “I want you” to “I want yogurt.”
• My ex said I had a drinking problem, so I got a second opinion. They said I was fine.
• I’m not drunk, I’m just testing the decibel levels of the room.
• My ex’s dating profile said he was “well rounded”, but all I saw was a circle of lies.
• I sent a text to my crush “I’m a good person”. Autocorrect changed it to “I’m a good poison.”
• Why did the phone get a divorce? It couldn’t trust its roaming partner anymore.
• Drunk texts are like accidental art. You didn’t intend to create it, but now it exists and you have to live with it.
• I tried to call my crush but my phone was dead! I guess you could say she’s dead to me.
• I accidentally sent a text meant for my date to my mother. Guess I’m not just his type-o.
• My therapist told me to express my feelings. So, I drunk texted all 7 billion people on Earth my deepest insecurities.