150 Best Hands Jokes and Puns Youll Want to Get a Hold Of

Ready to give yourself a hand with some laughter? We’ve got you covered! Prepare for a hilarious collection of hands jokes and puns that will have you clapping with glee.

Whether you need a quick joke to break the ice or just want to tickle your funny bone, our hand-picked selection is sure to deliver.

Get ready to point, wave, and maybe even give a high-five to the sheer brilliance of these pun-tastic jokes about hands!

Best Hands Jokes and Puns You’ll Want to Get a Hold Of

• What do you call a nervous hand? Sweaty palms.
• I tried to make a fist, but I was all thumbs.
• Why did the glove break up with the hand? It said, “I need some space, I feel suffocated!”
• My hands are writing a novel. It’s a real page-turner… literally, they can only turn pages.
• Two hands met on a dating app. It was a perfect match; they just clicked.
• I told my hand to stop making so many dad jokes. It just gave me the finger.
• I lost my left hand. Don’t worry, I’m all right now.
• Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything, hand over fist.
• My hand is starting a band. They’re called The Five Finger Death Punch…lines.
• I asked my hand if it could help me with my taxes. It said it wasn’t very good with figures.
• What’s a hand’s favorite subject in school? Hand-writing.
• I tried to give someone a high five, but they left me hanging. It was a low five situation, really.
• My hand keeps telling me it wants to travel the world. I told it to palm a map.
• Why did the hand go to therapy? It had too many unresolved gripes.
• I caught my hand trying to steal a cookie. I guess you could say it was caught red-handed.

Hands Jokes: The Ultimate Guide to掌趣

Looking for a hilarious handful of hand-related humor? “Hands Jokes: The Ultimate Guide to 掌趣” is your go-to resource! This guide delivers a finger-licking good collection of puns, jokes, and witty observations, all revolving around our trusty appendages. Prepare to be armed with jokes that’ll have everyone in stitches –…

• I started a finger-themed dating app for amputees. It was called “Missing Links”.
• My hands are like a pair of overzealous stage managers: always clapping a little too enthusiastically.
• I tried to start a business selling gloves with built-in GPS: It was a real *handy* navigation tool.
• I asked my hand for a helping hand, but it just gave me five.
• Why did the hand get a job as a gardener?: Because it had a *green thumb*!
• My fingers have a better social life than me: they’re always *pointing* at people.
• Why did the one hand cross the road?: To give the other hand five!
• I asked my hand if it was tired of working so hard. It said, “Not really, I’m always *hand*-ling things.”
• My hand is starting a band. They’re called “The Five Finger Death Punch”…lines.
• Two hands are talking. One says, “I’m feeling a little rough today.” The other replies, “Maybe you should try using some hand lotion.”
• I tried to teach my hands sign language: it was a *handy* skill to learn.
• My hand is a terrible liar; you can always see through its lies.
• What did the hand say to the foot?: “Nice to *meet* you!”
• I told my fingers they were going to be famous. They said, “That’s just a *grasp* at fame!”
• My hands are like a pair of overzealous art critics: always pointing out the flaws in my cooking.

Hands Puns: High-Fivingly Funny Wordplay

Dive into the world of “Hands Jokes and Puns,” where “Hands Puns: High-Fivingly Funny Wordplay” takes center stage! Prepare for a laugh riot fueled by clever wordplay and hand-related humor. From “handy” puns to finger-pointing jokes, this collection will have you waving your hands in the air with delight. It’s…

• I tried to start a hand-modelling agency, but it was hard to *palm* off on investors.
• My hands are like a pair of mischievous twins: always getting into trouble and leaving fingerprints everywhere.
• I asked my hand for help with my taxes; it said it needed a *hand*-out first.
• Tried to teach my left hand to write with my right: it was an ambidextrous-aster.
• My therapist suggested I get a *hand*-made pet. Now I just carry around a sock puppet.
• I’m starting a hand-themed escape room, it’s going to be a *grasping* experience.
• My hands have a secret language: They communicate through interpretive gestures.
• My hands are my greatest asset. Well, second greatest.
• I tried to start a hand-held fan club, but it was hard to get people to *grasp* the concept.
• What did the five fingers say to the palm? “Stick with us, we’ve got your back”
• I tried to start a hand-written letter exchange, but it had a *digit*-al impact.
• I started a hand-puppet show, but it was hard to find an audience that would take it *hand-somely*.
• My hands are like my thoughts: they can be a force for good or a weapon of destruction.
• I tried to teach my pet snake sign language: it was a real *hands-on* learning experience.
• My hands are currently in negotiations with my brain: they want hazard pay for typing out all my crazy ideas.

Hands Jokes and Anatomy: A Humorous Exploration

Dive into “Hands Jokes and Anatomy: A Humorous Exploration,” where we dissect hand puns and jokes, bone by bone! We’ll give you a hand understanding the anatomy behind the humor, exploring why certain hand-related scenarios lend themselves to such clever wordplay. Prepare for phalanges of laughter and a grasp on…

• My hands are like a pair of overly enthusiastic jazz musicians; always improvising and rarely in sync.
• I tried to teach my hands some self-defense moves, but they just kept high-fiving each other.
• My hands are like a pair of unreliable narrators; always exaggerating the size of the fish I caught.
• My dating profile says I’m looking for someone with a strong hand in life.
• I asked my hand for advice, but it just gave me the silent treatment. I guess it’s a *hand-off* kind of advisor.
• My hands are like a pair of mischievous toddlers; always reaching for things they shouldn’t.
• I tried to write a song about hands, but it lacked substance… I need to *hand* it to someone else.
• My hands are like a pair of overzealous art critics; always pointing out the flaws in my cooking.
• I tried to start a business selling gloves for cats; it was a *paw-sible* idea, but lacked traction.
• My hands and I have a complicated relationship; they’re always getting me into trouble.
• What do you call a hand that is always telling jokes? A *ha-ha*nd.
• I tried to start a hand-modelling agency, but it fell apart, so I just *waved* goodbye.
• My hands are starting a political party, they promise to *hand-le* all the issues.
• I tried to start a hand-themed dating app; it was called “Hand in Hand,” but it fell short of expectations.
• Just bought a new set of hand warmers; I’m *holding* onto them for winter.

Hands Puns for Every Occasion: From Greetings to Goodbyes

Need a hand with your next joke? “Hands Puns for Every Occasion” is your go-to guide! From a friendly “How’s it hanging?” to a heartfelt “Give us a hand,” this collection offers the perfect pun for any situation. Get ready to palm-read your audience’s laughter and high-five your comedic skills!

• My hand is currently working on a self-help book titled “Overcoming Thumb-stacles in Life”.
• I’m starting a hand-made greeting card business: My designs are truly *hand*-crafted.
• Why did the hand refuse the job offer? It didn’t want to be a *finger*-ling.
• My hand is starting a new career as a wedding planner; it really excels at *hand*-ling the details.
• I tried to start a hand-themed bakery, but it was hard to find a *hand*-le on the ingredients.
• My hand is trying to become a comedian, it is hoping to become a *hand*-some success.
• What did the hand say to the glove when it was time to leave?: “It was nice *hand*-ling with you.”
• My hand is always getting me into trouble; it’s a real *hand*-ful.
• My hand has decided to pursue a career in gardening: It’s developed a real *green thumb*.
• I tried to start a business selling hand sanitizer: It was a clean sweep.
• What did the hand say to the foot?: “Let’s give each other a *hand*, and *foot* the bill.”
• My hand is currently in training to become a professional magician: It’s hoping to learn some *hand*-y tricks.
• I tried to start a hand-themed clothing line: it was hard to find a *hand*-le on the fabrics.
• Why did the hand get sent to school? It needed to brush up on its *hand*-writing skills.
• I told my hand it was doing a great job today: It gave me a thumbs up in response.

Hands Jokes Featuring Animals: Paws-itively Hilarious

Ready for some *paw-some* puns? Dive into the fur-larious world of animal-themed hand jokes! From dogs “begging” for a laugh to cats “claw-fully” delivering punchlines, these jokes are guaranteed to tickle your funny bone. Get ready to raise a hand (or paw!) for the sheer joy of animal-inspired hand humor.

• What do you call a hamster that’s a good carpenter?: A *handy* man.
• I tried to teach my octopus how to play the guitar: it was a real *hands-on* learning experience, but he just kept strumming all the strings at once.
• My cat got a job as a massage therapist: he’s a real *paw-fessional*.
• Why did the sloth get a job at the post office?: Because he was great at *paw-sting* letters.
• I asked my dog for help with my taxes, but all he did was *paw* at the calculator.
• What do you call a bear with no teeth?: A gummy bear with a *paw*-ful gum disease.
• My parrot started giving manicures: It was a *beak* experience.
• My pet snake started a new career as a magician; it was a real *hands-on* learning experience.
• Why did the squirrel refuse to shake hands?: It was afraid of getting *nuts* on his paws.
• My dog tried to write a novel, but it was too *ruff* around the edges.
• I saw a seal wearing gloves today. He said he was “trying to be more *hand*-some.”
• What do you call a cat that’s always telling jokes?: A *paw*-sitively hilarious comedian.
• My pet hamster started a business building miniature houses: He’s a real *handy* man.
• Why did the kitten start a band?: Because it had the *paw*-tential to rock the stage.
• What do you call a rabbit that’s a skilled artist?: A *hare*-d working hand.

Hands Jokes: A Global Celebration of Hand-Related Humor

“Hands Jokes and Puns” explores the surprisingly universal appeal of hand-related humor. From silly finger puns to clever palmistry gags, this book celebrates the global phenomenon of finding the funny in our own appendages. Discover how different cultures put their own spin on hand-based humor, proving that a good hand…

• I tried to teach my left hand to write with my right, but it was an ambidextrous-aster.
• My hands are like a pair of overly enthusiastic jazz musicians, always improvising and rarely in sync.
• I am starting a new business that sells prosthetics for hands: It’s going to be a *handy* venture.
• My hands are like a pair of overzealous art critics, always pointing out the flaws in my cooking.
• I tried to start a hand-puppet show, but it was hard to find an audience that would take it *hand-somely*.
• The hand was really struggling to write the letter: It was a *manual* error.
• My hand model agency is a real *hand*-ful.
• I tried to start a business selling gloves with built-in GPS: It was a real *handy* navigation tool.
• I asked my hand if it could help me with my taxes, it said it wasn’t very good with figures.
• I tried to teach my hands some self-defense moves, but they just kept high-fiving each other.
• My hands are like a pair of detectives: always pointing fingers and spreading rumors.
• I tried to start a hand-themed bakery, but it was hard to get a *hand*-le on the ingredients.
• What do you call a finger that is always telling jokes?: A *ha-ha*nd.
• I caught my hand trying to steal a cookie: I guess you could say it was caught red-handed.
• My hand is like a hyperactive child: always reaching for things it shouldn’t.

Hands Puns and Sign Language: A Visual Feast of Fun

Get ready to clap along! “Hands Jokes and Puns” isn’t just about silly wordplay; it’s a visual comedy show too! Imagine puns brought to life with expressive sign language – a “handful” of hilarity! This unique blend creates a truly engaging experience, making every joke a memorable, and sometimes literal,…

• I tried to start a bakery that only sold hand-shaped pastries: It was a real *hand-wich* of success.
• What did the palm say to the fingers during the argument?: “Let’s not get *out of hand* here!”
• My therapist suggested I get a *hand*-made pet, so I adopted a hermit crab.
• I tried to start a business giving high-fives: It was a real *smack*-tacular success.
• Two hands went on a date but it didn’t work out, I guess they couldn’t find a *connection*.
• I’m starting a band called “The Five Finger Death Punch”…lines.
• My hand is seeking therapy; it needs to *handle* its emotions.
• Why did the hand get sent to school?: It needed to brush up on its *hand*-writing skills.
• My friend got a job as a hand model for a glove company. I told him, “That sounds like a *hand*-some gig!”
• I tried to teach my hand to play the piano, but it was a real *hand*-icap.
• My hand has a secret life: it’s a professional online shopper.
• My hand is starting a political party: they promise to *hand-le* all the issues.
• I tried to start a business selling hand sanitizer: It was a clean sweep.
• I tried to start a hand-puppet show, but it was hard to find an audience that would take it *hand-somely*.
• I accidentally superglued my fingers together: Now I’m all *tied up* with nothing to do.

Hands Jokes in Pop Culture: From Movies to Music

From the Addams Family’s Thing to the endless “hand in marriage” puns in rom-coms, hand jokes are everywhere! Pop culture loves a good hand gag, whether it’s a visual pun or a clever wordplay. Music videos often feature symbolic hand gestures, ripe for humorous interpretation, proving that when it comes…

• My hand is getting into pottery, I’m hoping it can *mold* a new career.
• I’m starting a support group for hands that have been betrayed by fidget spinners: It’s a real *hand*-wringing situation.
• My hand is currently writing a tell-all memoir, but I’m afraid it’s going to be too *finger*-pointing.
• I tried to teach my hand to do origami, but it just kept folding under the pressure.
• My hand is starting a new business, offering *hand*-made compliments.
• My hand is seeking couples therapy: It needs to *handle* its relationship with my other hand.
• I started a hand-themed dating app: It’s called “Matched in the Palm of Your Hand.”
• My hand is learning to be a magician: It’s hoping to pull off some *hand*-y tricks.
• My hand is trying to write a screenplay, but it keeps getting *writer’s cramp*.
• I tried to start a hand-puppet show, but it was hard to find an audience that would take it *hand*-somely.
• My hand is starting a new career as a personal trainer: It’s all about helping people get a *grip* on their fitness goals.
• My hand is in a committed relationship with my phone: It’s a real *swipe* right kind of love.
• I tried to teach my hand to play the banjo. It said, “Sorry, I’m all *thumbs*.”
• My hand’s dating profile says: Seeking someone with a good sense of humor and a steady wrist. Must love holding hands and giving high fives.
• I tried to get my hands to work together on a budget; it was a struggle to *count* on them.