150 Best New Hampshire Jokes That Will Make You Granite Laugh

Ever wondered what the Granite State is really made of? Besides majestic mountains and charming towns, it’s got a healthy dose of humor! Get ready to chuckle with our collection of New Hampshire jokes and puns that are sure to tickle your funny bone.

From moose-related mishaps to quirky town names, we’ve gathered the best of the best. Whether you’re a lifelong resident or just curious about New Hampshire, these jokes will have you laughing along. Prepare for some truly ‘state-of-the-art’ humor!

Best New Hampshire Jokes That Will Make You Granite Laugh

• Why did the New Hampshire tree get promoted? Because it was outstanding in its field!
• I tried to write a New Hampshire themed song, but it just kept coming out… Granite-y.
• What’s a New Hampshirite’s favorite kind of music? Rock and roll, naturally!
• A tourist asked me if New Hampshire was always this beautiful. I said, “It’s a state of perfect-ion, really.”
• My friend said he was going to climb Mount Washington. I told him to have a peak experience!
• I went to a New Hampshire brewery and asked for a ‘light’ beer. They laughed and gave me a flashlight.
• Why are New Hampshire drivers so calm? They’re used to following the state lines.
• Heard about the New Hampshire squirrel who started a business? He was nuts about acorns.
• New Hampshire’s state motto should be, “Live Free or Die…Trying to find parking in the summer.”
• A moose walked into a New Hampshire bar and said, “I’ll have whatever’s on tap.” The bartender said, “You’re on tap!”
• My attempt at making a New Hampshire-shaped pancake was a little… rugged.
• What do you call a group of New Hampshire trees having a conversation? A bark council.
• I told my friend New Hampshire was like a postcard. He said, “Yeah, and the tourists keep showing up to mail themselves.”
• New Hampshire has such beautiful scenery; it’s hard to be in a bad state of mind there.
• Why did the lobster blush in New Hampshire? Because he saw the red leaves and felt out of season!

New Hampshire Puns: A Granite State of Laughter

Looking for a laugh in the Granite State? Dive into “New Hampshire Puns: A Granite State of Laughter”! This collection, part of our “New Hampshire Jokes and Puns” series, is packed with witty wordplay and local humor. From mountain puns to lake-themed jokes, it’s guaranteed to crack you up –…

• Why did the New Hampshire baker win an award? Because his bread was always on a roll, and he never took a granite for granted.
• Relationship status: In a complicated relationship with New Hampshire’s fall foliage; it’s beautiful, but it’s also a real *leaf*-it-or-take-it situation.
• Heard about the New Hampshire moose who became a librarian? He always had a great *browse* selection.
• New Hampshire’s state motto should be: “Live Free or Die… Trying to find parking in the mountains.”
• What’s a New Hampshire ghost’s favorite saying? “I’m feeling a little *granite*y today.”
• I tried to make a joke about New Hampshire’s White Mountains, but it was a little too *peak*y for me.
• Why did the New Hampshire squirrel refuse to share his nuts? He said they were his personal stash, “for-aging” purposes only, and he wanted to keep them all to himself.
• A New Hampshire tourist asked a local, “Is it true you all have a granite countertop in every home?” The local replied, “Ayuh, and a few in the backyard too.”
• My New Hampshire friend said he was going to open a ski resort. I told him, “That sounds like a pretty *slope-isticated* business venture.”
• Heard about the New Hampshire lobster who became a chef? He was known for his *shell-icious* recipes.
• Why don’t New Hampshire trees ever get lost? They always have a good sense of direction, or should I say, a good sense of *bark-ing* up the right trail?
• What do you call a New Hampshire bird that’s always telling jokes? A real *chirp-ster* with a solid nest of punchlines.
• New Hampshire’s idea of a scenic drive? A winding road through the mountains, with a 100% chance of seeing a covered bridge and a moose.
• I tried to write a love song about New Hampshire, but it kept coming out a little too *granite*-y.
• A New Hampshire mountain was feeling down, so his friend said, “Cheer up, you’re *peak-tacular*!”

Hiking in the Whites: New Hampshire Jokes About the Trails

New Hampshire’s White Mountains? They’re not for the faint of heart, or the weak of pun! Hikers joke that trails are “moderate” when they’re actually “moderately terrifying.” You’ll hear plenty about “summit-ing” not being a “summertime” stroll, and how the rocks have a “granite” sense of humor. Just try not…

• I tried to write a hiking guide for the White Mountains, but it kept getting lost in the trails and the descriptions became a bit too *granite*-y.
• A New Hampshire hiker was asked about their favorite trail, they replied, “Any path that leads to a view, and preferably, a little less *spruce* than the last one.”
• Why did the New Hampshire mountain go to therapy? It had too many unresolved issues at its *summit*.
• New Hampshire hikers are so tough, they use compasses as fashion accessories.
• My New Hampshire hiking boots are so old, they’ve probably seen more trails than most of the park rangers.
• I was going to make a joke about the Franconia Notch, but it was a little too *abysmal*.
• What’s a New Hampshire hiker’s favorite type of music? Anything with a good *peak* of energy.
• A New Hampshire hiker walks into a coffee shop and orders a large coffee. The barista asks, “Planning a long hike?” The hiker replies, “Just trying to keep up with the mountains.”
• Why did the New Hampshire trail get a promotion? It was always *ascending* to new challenges.
• A New Hampshire hiker’s favorite pickup line: “Are you a mountain? Because I’m drawn to your peaks.”
• What do you call a New Hampshire hiker who loves to tell jokes? A trail blazer of laughs.
• New Hampshire’s hiking trails are so scenic, they’re a real *path-way* to happiness, and maybe some sore calves.
• I tried to take a picture of the New Hampshire foliage, but my camera was too *overwhelmed* by the views.
• Why don’t New Hampshire trails ever get lost? They always follow the *foot-prints* of adventurers.
• A New Hampshire hiker’s idea of a wild party? A bonfire at a mountain summit, with s’mores, and maybe some *granite*-y stories.

Live Free or Die Laughing: New Hampshire Political Humor

New Hampshire’s motto isn’t just for serious business; “Live Free or Die Laughing” captures the state’s unique political humor. From quirky town meetings to presidential primary antics, Granite Staters find plenty to chuckle about. This book, filled with New Hampshire jokes and puns, proves even politics can be a laughing…

• New Hampshire’s political debates are so civil, they’re practically a polite disagreement over which flavor of maple syrup is superior.
• A New Hampshire politician was asked about their platform. They replied, “Mostly just ensuring we still have covered bridges and a lot of trees.”
• Why did the New Hampshire politician bring a compass to the town hall meeting? They heard the issues were a little too directionless.
• New Hampshire’s primary is so important, it’s like the opening act for the rest of the nation’s political circus.
• They tried to pass a law banning potholes in New Hampshire, but it just kept getting roadblocked.
• A New Hampshire politician’s idea of a scandal is using the wrong shade of granite for a monument.
• What do you call a New Hampshire politician who’s always honest? A rare find, like a parking spot on Main Street during foliage season.
• New Hampshire’s political ads are so wholesome, they’re basically a scenic tour of covered bridges and maple farms with a side of policy.
• A New Hampshire town meeting: where the biggest debate is usually about the proper way to pronounce “Worcester.”
• Why did the New Hampshire politician start a maple syrup business? Because they wanted to get a little more “sap” in their campaign.
• New Hampshire’s political system is so transparent, you can practically see through it, like a perfectly clear mountain stream.
• New Hampshire politicians don’t make promises they can’t keep; they just offer “suggestions” with a hearty handshake and a wink.
• They say New Hampshire is a “live free or die” state, but most politicians are just trying to “live free and avoid any real controversy.”
• A New Hampshire politician’s favorite game? “Follow the Leader,” but only if the leader is going to a town hall meeting about local issues.
• New Hampshire’s state motto should be: “Live Free or Die… Trying to find a parking spot in the fall.”

New Hampshire Wildlife Jokes: Bears, Moose, and More

Looking for a laugh that’s as wild as the Granite State? Dive into “New Hampshire Wildlife Jokes: Bears, Moose, and More!” This collection, part of the broader “New Hampshire Jokes and Puns,” serves up hilarious takes on our favorite furry (and antlered) neighbors. Prepare for puns and one-liners that’ll have…

• A New Hampshire moose walks into a bar and orders a drink, the bartender says, “Hey, we don’t get your kind around here often!” The moose replies, “Yeah, I’m trying to branch out.”
• Why did the New Hampshire bear refuse to share his picnic basket? He said it was a matter of “bear-sonal” space.
• Heard about the New Hampshire squirrel who became a financial advisor? He was great at saving for a rainy day, or a long winter, whichever came first.
• A New Hampshire bobcat was feeling down, so his friend said, “Cheer up, you’re purr-fectly awesome!”
• What do you call a New Hampshire deer that loves to play hide and seek? A master of buck-and-cover.
• Why did the New Hampshire porcupine get a promotion? He was always on point, and never prickly about his job.
• A New Hampshire black bear was having trouble with his computer. He asked his friend, “Do you know how to *paw-se* this program?”
• A New Hampshire moose was asked why he liked the state. He replied, “It’s the best place to *moo-ve* around.”
• What’s a New Hampshire beaver’s favorite activity? Building dam-fine structures, and snacking on trees.
• Why did the New Hampshire fox refuse to play cards? He didn’t want to deal with all the sly-stakes.
• A New Hampshire raccoon walks into a bar, orders a drink, and says, “This place is *trash-tastic*!”
• A New Hampshire skunk was asked about his favorite type of music. He replied, “Anything with a good ‘scent’-imental beat.”
• Why was the New Hampshire owl such a good detective? He always knew how to *hoot* for clues.
• A New Hampshire chipmunk was feeling left out, so his friend said, “Don’t worry, you’re *chip-tastic*!”
• Two New Hampshire squirrels were having a conversation, one said “I’m feeling a little nutty today,” the other replied, “Well, you’re in good company.”

Fall Foliage Funnies: Jokes about New Hampshire Autumn

New Hampshire’s fall foliage is stunning, but let’s be honest, it’s also ripe for puns! “Fall Foliage Funnies” delivers a collection of jokes playing on everything from leaf peeping to pumpkin spice. Expect groan-worthy wordplay and chuckles that’ll warm you up faster than a cider donut. It’s a perfect addition…

• Why did the New Hampshire maple tree get a job as a detective? It was great at finding the root of every problem.
• New Hampshire’s fall foliage is so stunning, it’s like the trees are competing in a beauty pageant and Mother Nature is the judge.
• I tried to make a joke about New Hampshire’s covered bridges, but it was too hard to span the gap between funny and corny.
• What do you call a New Hampshire squirrel who loves to hike? A real trail blazer of nuts.
• My New Hampshire friend said he was going to start a maple syrup company, I told him that sounds like a very sticky situation to get into.
• Why did the New Hampshire pumpkin get a promotion? It was outstanding in its patch and was always gourd-geous.
• Relationship status: In a complicated relationship with New Hampshire’s fall foliage; it’s beautiful, but it’s also a real *leaf*-it-or-take-it situation.
• Why was the New Hampshire hiker so good at puzzles? He knew how to piece together the trails.
• I tried to make a joke about New Hampshire’s mountains, but it just didn’t have the peak performance I was hoping for.
• New Hampshire’s state bird should be the covered bridge: always beautiful and a little bit old-fashioned.
• What do you call a New Hampshire ghost that loves to hike? A *haunt*-ed trail enthusiast.
• New Hampshire’s fall foliage is so vibrant, it’s like the trees are having their own firework show, but with leaves.
• I went to a New Hampshire apple orchard and asked for something local, they pointed to the nearest tree and said, “Pick your own!”
• Why did the New Hampshire porcupine refuse to share his apples? They were for his personal “quill-inary” use only.
• A New Hampshire leaf falls into a bar, orders a drink, and says, “I’m feeling a bit *fall*en today.”

Seacoast Sillies: New Hampshire Jokes by the Ocean

Looking for a laugh with a salty tang? Dive into “Seacoast Sillies,” a collection of New Hampshire jokes and puns specifically crafted for the ocean lover. It’s a hilarious offshoot of classic NH humor, trading mountains for waves, and moose for maybe a misbehaving seagull. Expect plenty of coastal quips…

• Why did the New Hampshire clam blush? Because it saw the tide coming in and got a little shell-shocked.
• Heard about the New Hampshire maple tree that became a therapist? It was great at finding the root of your problems, and always offered a sweet solution.
• A New Hampshire hiker was asked about their favorite trail, they replied, “Any path that leads to a view, and preferably, a little less granite than the last one.”
• What do you call a New Hampshire squirrel that’s also a detective? A nut-case solver.
• I tried to write a love song about New Hampshire, but it kept coming out a little too granite-y and full of covered bridges.
• A New Hampshire politician’s favorite game? “Follow the Leader,” but only if the leader is going to a town hall meeting about local issues and maybe a maple syrup tasting.
• Why did the New Hampshire lighthouse get a promotion? It was always shining bright, a real beacon of excellence, and never took any fog days, or clam breaks.
• New Hampshire’s fall foliage is so stunning, it’s like the trees are competing in a beauty pageant and Mother Nature is the judge, and the winner gets extra maple syrup.
• New Hampshire has such beautiful scenery; it’s hard to be in a bad state of mind there, or at least it’s hard to be in a bad state of mind for too long.
• Relationship status: In a complicated relationship with New Hampshire’s fall foliage; it’s beautiful, but it’s also a real leaf-it-or-take-it situation, and you never know when the leaves will drop.
• Why did the New Hampshire porcupine refuse to share his apples? They were for his personal quill-inary use only, and he was being a little prickly about it.
• Why did the New Hampshire owl such a good detective? He always knew how to hoot for clues and find the root of every problem with his great night vision.
• I told my friend New Hampshire was like a postcard. He said, “Yeah, and the tourists keep showing up to mail themselves in it, and they always want to know where the best maple syrup is.”
• My New Hampshire hiking boots are so old, they’ve probably seen more trails than most of the park rangers, and have developed a slight preference for rocky paths.
• A New Hampshire raccoon walks into a bar, orders a drink, and says, “This place is trash-tastic, and do you have any lobster rolls?”

New Hampshire Food Puns: Maple Syrup and More

Okay, get ready to laugh your “maple” off! New Hampshire’s got more than just scenic views, it’s got a whole “granite” quarry of food puns! From “syrupy” sweet jokes to “clam-orous” quips about seafood, our state’s humor is as delicious as its local fare. Dive into a world where every…

• New Hampshire’s maple syrup is so good, it’s *sap*-risingly delicious.
• Why did the pancake blush in New Hampshire? Because it saw the syrup and got a little *maple*-d over.
• I tried to make a joke about New Hampshire’s maple candy, but it was too *sweet* to be funny.
• Relationship status: hopelessly devoted to New Hampshire maple creemees; it’s a *whirl*-wind romance.
• A New Hampshire maple tree walks into a bar, orders a drink, and says, “I’m feeling a little *tapped* out.”
• My New Hampshire breakfast was so good, it was a *syrup*-tacular start to the day.
• Why did the waffle move to New Hampshire? It heard the maple syrup was *waffle*-ly good.
• New Hampshire’s apple cider donuts are so good, they’re a *hole*-some treat.
• I tried to make a joke about New Hampshire’s pumpkin bread, but it was a little too *gourd-geous* for my pun.
• Why did the blueberry pie get a job in New Hampshire? It was a real *filling* position.
• New Hampshire’s lobster bisque is so creamy, it’s a real *shell*-out experience.
• I went to a New Hampshire farmers market, and all the produce was so fresh, it was a real *harvest* of flavor.
• Why did the clam blush in New Hampshire? Because it saw the chowder and got a little *shell*-shocked.
• New Hampshire’s cheese is so good, it’s a *grate* place for dairy lovers.
• Why did the pumpkin go to the New Hampshire fair? He wanted to be the *gourd*-ian of the exhibits.

Small Town Chuckles: New Hampshire Local Humor

New Hampshire humor? It’s a special breed! Think “Small Town Chuckles,” where local quirks become comedic gold. We’re talking witty observations about maple syrup season, the “live free or die” spirit, and maybe a good-natured jab at those darned flatlanders. Expect dry wit, down-to-earth anecdotes, and puns so corny they’re…

• Why did the New Hampshire maple tree start a band? Because it had great sap appeal and a natural woodwind section.
• New Hampshire’s state bird should be the mosquito, because they’re always buzzing around, especially near the lakes and the covered bridges.
• I tried to make a joke about New Hampshire’s mountains, but it was a little too peaky, and I didn’t want to be too summit-times.
• A New Hampshire politician’s favorite game? “Follow the leader”, but only if the leader is going to a town hall meeting about local issues and maybe a maple syrup tasting.
• Relationship status: In a complicated relationship with New Hampshire’s hiking trails; they’re beautiful but always a little too uphill.
• New Hampshire drivers: Where roundabouts are just a suggestion, and parking spots are a myth.
• A New Hampshire squirrel walks into a bar, orders a drink, and says, “I’m feeling a little nutty today, and do you have any acorns?”
• New Hampshire weather is like a choose-your-own-adventure book, but all the endings involve wearing a fleece and maybe some snow boots.
• Why did the New Hampshire lighthouse start a dating profile? It was looking for someone who could see the light and wouldn’t mind a little fog.
• I tried to write a love song about New Hampshire, but it kept coming out a little too granite-y with too many references to covered bridges and maple syrup.
• A New Hampshire bobcat walks into a coffee shop, orders a latte, and says, “Make it purr-fectly strong.”
• Why did the New Hampshire pumpkin get promoted? It was outstanding in its patch and always gourd-geous.
• New Hampshire’s state motto should be: “Live Free or Die…Trying to find a parking spot in the mountains.”
• What’s a New Hampshire maple tree’s favorite type of music? Anything with a good sap beat and a touch of folk.
• I’m convinced the New Hampshire Tourism Board is secretly powered by maple syrup and a deep love of covered bridges.